I recently took a trip to California for work and spent a decent amount of time at the airports due to long layovers, delays, and showing up at the airport 2 hours before my flights. I usually take this time to post up in a good spot in the middle of it all, bust out my laptop or iPod and just people watch.
One particular people watching session occured during my 2 hour layover in LA. I couldn't get on the internet because this airport decides it wants to charge for wireless usage (stupid in my opinion. How is it the largest airports - LA, Chicago, Atlanta - charge for use yet smaller airports and even Denver allow us free wireless internet? It's a scam that's what it is!) So I took out my iPod, got comfortable at my terminal and took in the surroundings that were around me.
I took notice of a couple sitting in a corner near the windows that overlooked the runways. The reason I noticed this couple was because of the massive amounts of PDA (public display of affection for those who dont know the acronym) that was going on. Kissing, touching, rubbing - it was almost as if they wanted people to know they were together. I am not saying they were about to rip each others clothes off and have mad wild animal sex, but they obviously could not keep their hands off each other. Yes, I get that maybe you are in love and just feel like you need to show it but seriously? In the middle of the airport for all of us to watch you two give each other the googly eyes (and I am sure there were pet names being passed back and forth as well, but thank goodness for the iPod so that I didnt have to listen to it)
This blatant show of affection got me thinking though - when is PDA acceptable and appropriate? And what forms of PDA are acceptable?
So here is MEGAN'S GUIDE TO APPROPRIATE PDA (This is all based on my own opinion of what I would like and not like to see in public/groups of people. Some may agree and some may not but I tend to think that I set a pretty good standard here in my guide)
Appropiate: Slightly and inconspicuously brushing your hand across theirs while walking down the street or under the table when sitting next to each other at the table, maybe a little bit of hand holding. This shows that you care for them and want to be with them, but not overdoing it or making it obvious.
Not Appropriate:Grabbing their butt while walking down the street, using both arms to wrap around their arm and snuggling against them, holding both hands, grabbing their leg and rubbing it back and forth when sitting next to them, basically sitting on their lap, wrapping your arms around them from the back and rubbing thier chest - lets just say basically rubbing their entire body down. This is just something people don't really want to see is you literally all over them when you are standing next to them. Yes we get it you like each other, but you don't have to lean all over them and CONSTANTLY be touching them. It is a bit overdone.
Appropriate: A small, slight peck on the cheek or lips every once in a while. It shows affection and it's kind of cute - again when it's not overdone.
Not Appropriate: Sticking your tongue down their throat every chance you get, constantly pecking them on the cheek or lips, licking their face, snuggling your nose and into their neck and pecking them, giving them nose kisses. I am sorry there are just some things that should be kept in the bedroom and making out/constantly kissing the other is just one of those things.
Appropriate: Looking into their eyes every once in a while and smiling at them. It allows that connection to still be there, but yet you are able to keep eye contact with the other people around you.
Not Appropriate: Constantly oogling into their eyes and having the "gosh I love you look" at them. Again this is something that those of us around you do not want to watch or look at. I mean, seriously we get it you like each other! Dont make me gag because you are giving each other the puppy dog eyes.
PDA every once in a while is not bad - it shows that you care about the person, sometimes it can even be cute and those of us watching go "awww" because we want that. But when you are sloppy, touchy, and kissy none of us want to be around that watching. It is uncomfortable and almost rude because it is like you are showing it up to everyone's face.
Here is my advice to those who over-do the whole PDA thing: Either walk away from each other or go get a room.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Funks: How to Get Rid of Them
We all go through those little moments where we are in a funk, where we just don't feel like ourselves. Sometimes you cant explain why you are in that funk. It can be as little as waking up on the wrong side of the bed or as big as not feeling good about yourself because you gained 5lbs and your clothes don't seem to fit. In any case, there are days that we are down on ourselves and have no energy to even have any sort of positive thoughts.
For me these funks are very few and far between. I am someone who sees the positive in everything and is always there and willing to bring everyone else into brighter spirits. However, I recently was not my normal self and will fully admit was not in the best of moods. Having the flu did not help in this particular case because I was stuck in bed for 2 days with nothing better to do than to think about everything. And when I think too much I get overwhelmed and I want to run away from the world.
We all think at the moment that we will never feel good about ourselves again. I mean, I am the one who wrote the blog about me being awesome, why is it I do not feel awesome?! But for every case, there is always something to help us get out of those funks. Here are some examples that have not only worked for me, but for some friends of mine as well:
Get out of Town - Sometimes it's something as little as getting away from the place that you are currently residing in and taking a mini vacation. It can be as big as getting on a plane and going somewhere far away or it can just be getting in your car and driving one hour to the next city. Either way, you are not in the place that funk began in and thus your mind can try and focus on other things.
Do Something You Have Never Done Before - If there is something that you have been wanting to do for so long and have been putting it off, this is the best time to go for it. Not only does it get your mind off of what you are thinking about, but it allows you to cross one more thing off the bucket list. Never been skydiving? No better time than to jump out of a plane (safely) and get that rush that you are looking for. Have a goal to finish the incline in less than an hour? Best time to push your body to the limits. Love reading blogs? Start a blog yourself. You are then able to take pride in yourself for starting something and focus on taking pride in yourself for doing that one thing you have been wanting to do.
Shop till you Drop - Retail therapy can always help bring a person's mood up! I am not saying go out and spend an extravagent amount of money, but sometimes buying one nice thing for youself can lift those spirits. It can be as little as a new pair of sandals for the spring and summer, a new shirt that makes you look and feel good, maybe even revamping your space a bit by buying new pillows for the couch or a new bedspread for your bedroom. Either way dropping a little dough and treating yourself to something always makes you feel a bit better. Note: you dont want to spend TOO much money to where then you are pissed at yourself for dropping so much dough. Usually sales, clearances, or just something little for yourself is good in this case.
Get Outdoors - Even in the winter, getting outdoors and getting some Vitamin D on your skin can help anyone get into a better spirit. Studies even show that people who spend more time in the sun are generally happier. Hence why Colorado people are usually happy and healthy because the sun is out 300 days of the year! But being cooped up indoors is not going to help you get out of the funk because you are secluding yourself in. Get out, go for a walk or even a run to clear your mind. If you have a backyard, do some gardening. If you have a dog, take them for a long walk to the park or on a hiking trail. It helps because it gives you more energy and, well, there is no better feeling than having that sun beat down on your skin!! (plus you can get some color and work on your tan, and everyone knows one feels better about themselves when they have a darker tint to their skin!)
Be With Your Friends - Yes, when you are in the funk you don't want to be around anybody. But, you soon realize that being by yourself is not helping your mood whatsoever. And if you surround yourself with your closest friends, you can talk to them about what is bothering you. This allows you to not only get all that off your chest but your friends can relate and share their stories about when they were in funks. You can realize that hey, this isnt only me feeling this way and then take their advice as to how to brighten your mood and get back to your normal self.
Immerse Yourself With Work - Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of what is bothering you and so focusing on other things can help you from thinking too much. Whether it is work around the house/apt, your actual job or (if you are a student) getting your schoolwork done, focusing on all these things and getting them done will allow you remove yourself from the funky situation. Being busy is always good because it allows you to not just be sitting around doing nothing but thinking.
These are just a few examples, and everyone has their own way of getting out of their funks. One thing my friends and I have noticed though is that drinking WILL NOT HELP. Drinking will actually make you feel worse about yourself. Yes, usually people associate a fun night on the town with having a few cocktails but alcohol is also a depressant. So when you feel crappy (as in the cases of when you are on the verge of getting sick, you feel worse after a night of drinking and usually get sicker) staying away from alcohol is the best thing because then you dont have those drunk tears coming out. And everyone knows drunk tears are the worst tears because they tend to not stop once they are started.
For me, I am funk free and ready to take on the world as I usually do. And with Spring officially here and nice weather finally rolling in, there is no better time to be in a great mood. Now I just need it to get a bit warmer so I can start laying by the pool and working on getting my summer tan back :)
For me these funks are very few and far between. I am someone who sees the positive in everything and is always there and willing to bring everyone else into brighter spirits. However, I recently was not my normal self and will fully admit was not in the best of moods. Having the flu did not help in this particular case because I was stuck in bed for 2 days with nothing better to do than to think about everything. And when I think too much I get overwhelmed and I want to run away from the world.
We all think at the moment that we will never feel good about ourselves again. I mean, I am the one who wrote the blog about me being awesome, why is it I do not feel awesome?! But for every case, there is always something to help us get out of those funks. Here are some examples that have not only worked for me, but for some friends of mine as well:
Get out of Town - Sometimes it's something as little as getting away from the place that you are currently residing in and taking a mini vacation. It can be as big as getting on a plane and going somewhere far away or it can just be getting in your car and driving one hour to the next city. Either way, you are not in the place that funk began in and thus your mind can try and focus on other things.
Do Something You Have Never Done Before - If there is something that you have been wanting to do for so long and have been putting it off, this is the best time to go for it. Not only does it get your mind off of what you are thinking about, but it allows you to cross one more thing off the bucket list. Never been skydiving? No better time than to jump out of a plane (safely) and get that rush that you are looking for. Have a goal to finish the incline in less than an hour? Best time to push your body to the limits. Love reading blogs? Start a blog yourself. You are then able to take pride in yourself for starting something and focus on taking pride in yourself for doing that one thing you have been wanting to do.
Shop till you Drop - Retail therapy can always help bring a person's mood up! I am not saying go out and spend an extravagent amount of money, but sometimes buying one nice thing for youself can lift those spirits. It can be as little as a new pair of sandals for the spring and summer, a new shirt that makes you look and feel good, maybe even revamping your space a bit by buying new pillows for the couch or a new bedspread for your bedroom. Either way dropping a little dough and treating yourself to something always makes you feel a bit better. Note: you dont want to spend TOO much money to where then you are pissed at yourself for dropping so much dough. Usually sales, clearances, or just something little for yourself is good in this case.
Get Outdoors - Even in the winter, getting outdoors and getting some Vitamin D on your skin can help anyone get into a better spirit. Studies even show that people who spend more time in the sun are generally happier. Hence why Colorado people are usually happy and healthy because the sun is out 300 days of the year! But being cooped up indoors is not going to help you get out of the funk because you are secluding yourself in. Get out, go for a walk or even a run to clear your mind. If you have a backyard, do some gardening. If you have a dog, take them for a long walk to the park or on a hiking trail. It helps because it gives you more energy and, well, there is no better feeling than having that sun beat down on your skin!! (plus you can get some color and work on your tan, and everyone knows one feels better about themselves when they have a darker tint to their skin!)
Be With Your Friends - Yes, when you are in the funk you don't want to be around anybody. But, you soon realize that being by yourself is not helping your mood whatsoever. And if you surround yourself with your closest friends, you can talk to them about what is bothering you. This allows you to not only get all that off your chest but your friends can relate and share their stories about when they were in funks. You can realize that hey, this isnt only me feeling this way and then take their advice as to how to brighten your mood and get back to your normal self.
Immerse Yourself With Work - Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of what is bothering you and so focusing on other things can help you from thinking too much. Whether it is work around the house/apt, your actual job or (if you are a student) getting your schoolwork done, focusing on all these things and getting them done will allow you remove yourself from the funky situation. Being busy is always good because it allows you to not just be sitting around doing nothing but thinking.
These are just a few examples, and everyone has their own way of getting out of their funks. One thing my friends and I have noticed though is that drinking WILL NOT HELP. Drinking will actually make you feel worse about yourself. Yes, usually people associate a fun night on the town with having a few cocktails but alcohol is also a depressant. So when you feel crappy (as in the cases of when you are on the verge of getting sick, you feel worse after a night of drinking and usually get sicker) staying away from alcohol is the best thing because then you dont have those drunk tears coming out. And everyone knows drunk tears are the worst tears because they tend to not stop once they are started.
For me, I am funk free and ready to take on the world as I usually do. And with Spring officially here and nice weather finally rolling in, there is no better time to be in a great mood. Now I just need it to get a bit warmer so I can start laying by the pool and working on getting my summer tan back :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
He's Just Not That Into You
Saturday evening, after a great dinner for a friend's birthday, I decided to stop at a RedBox and rent a couple movies and relax for once (sidenote, I was still hurting from the previous evening and doing absolutely nothing just sounded fabulous)
I came across a movie that I have been wanting to see for a while. It not only has a great cast but I could relate to the title so much that I just needed to get it - He's Just Not That Into You.
I figured that since I have such amazing luck with guys (please note the sarcasm here) I thought I could take a few pointers from this movie so I popped it into my DVD player and curled up in bed.
Once the movie was done I realized something. I realized that that most of the men I have met in my life have never been that into me. But how come I never notice this right away? Why is it that it takes me weeks, sometimes months, to realize that maybe these guys just are not interested, or do not want anything to do with me? When in all reality all the signs are right there in front of me.
He does not call or text. This is the most obvious one for you literally do not hear from them. When I realize that they dont even contact to say hi because they are thinking about me, it's a realization that they are just not into me. What about when I do contact them and hear nothing back? I mean I am not saying I need to hear back right away - but when it has been 3, maybe 4 days and there is still no response back I think it is pretty obvious. And if it has been over a week since hearing from them? I have learned that they are not going to be contacting you anytime soon. At this point usually the phone number gets deleted from my phone and I get on with my life, because it is not worth dwelling on something that is obviously not going to happen.
If A Guy Wants A Girl, He Will Make it Happen. This means if he wants to see you, he will call you. If he wants to be with you, he will take you out on a date. He will want to spend time with you if he really wants you. Okay, awesome. This makes me feel real great about myself because no guy has ever really tried to be with me. It feels like I am usually the one initiating the conversation or setting up the plans because I want to see or be with them, and it either never follows through or it happens for a quick second and then poof never hear from them again. I am either doing something wrong or this means no one wants to actually be with me....
Most Guys Only Want One Thing. And that is to hook up with you. And this is where the catch-22 comes into play. If you dont give it up, they will lose interest. If you do give it up too fast, they will lose interest and want to move on to the next booty that they can get. Sometimes if you bring up the committment issue or (for those in semi serious relationships marriage) they get tongue tied, not sure what to think because the only thing they are thinking of is "crap, I am losing my freedom" What freedom?! To just go off and do what you please most of the time? What ever happened to liking someone so much that is the only person you want to be with!
I guess what I have concluded is that maybe I am going after the wrong men. But where are the right ones then? Why is it that I have friends who have guys wanting to see them and wanting to be with them, and I am here on the sidelines staring blankly at my phone wondering why I cant catch a small break here. Because sometimes it just plain sucks to feel like no one ever is really interested enough in you to actually be with you....
I think I may take a break from all men and stop putting myself out there so much to just end up feeling crappy about myself. Because if they arent going to be that into me, why even try anymore?
I came across a movie that I have been wanting to see for a while. It not only has a great cast but I could relate to the title so much that I just needed to get it - He's Just Not That Into You.
I figured that since I have such amazing luck with guys (please note the sarcasm here) I thought I could take a few pointers from this movie so I popped it into my DVD player and curled up in bed.
Once the movie was done I realized something. I realized that that most of the men I have met in my life have never been that into me. But how come I never notice this right away? Why is it that it takes me weeks, sometimes months, to realize that maybe these guys just are not interested, or do not want anything to do with me? When in all reality all the signs are right there in front of me.
He does not call or text. This is the most obvious one for you literally do not hear from them. When I realize that they dont even contact to say hi because they are thinking about me, it's a realization that they are just not into me. What about when I do contact them and hear nothing back? I mean I am not saying I need to hear back right away - but when it has been 3, maybe 4 days and there is still no response back I think it is pretty obvious. And if it has been over a week since hearing from them? I have learned that they are not going to be contacting you anytime soon. At this point usually the phone number gets deleted from my phone and I get on with my life, because it is not worth dwelling on something that is obviously not going to happen.
If A Guy Wants A Girl, He Will Make it Happen. This means if he wants to see you, he will call you. If he wants to be with you, he will take you out on a date. He will want to spend time with you if he really wants you. Okay, awesome. This makes me feel real great about myself because no guy has ever really tried to be with me. It feels like I am usually the one initiating the conversation or setting up the plans because I want to see or be with them, and it either never follows through or it happens for a quick second and then poof never hear from them again. I am either doing something wrong or this means no one wants to actually be with me....
Most Guys Only Want One Thing. And that is to hook up with you. And this is where the catch-22 comes into play. If you dont give it up, they will lose interest. If you do give it up too fast, they will lose interest and want to move on to the next booty that they can get. Sometimes if you bring up the committment issue or (for those in semi serious relationships marriage) they get tongue tied, not sure what to think because the only thing they are thinking of is "crap, I am losing my freedom" What freedom?! To just go off and do what you please most of the time? What ever happened to liking someone so much that is the only person you want to be with!
I guess what I have concluded is that maybe I am going after the wrong men. But where are the right ones then? Why is it that I have friends who have guys wanting to see them and wanting to be with them, and I am here on the sidelines staring blankly at my phone wondering why I cant catch a small break here. Because sometimes it just plain sucks to feel like no one ever is really interested enough in you to actually be with you....
I think I may take a break from all men and stop putting myself out there so much to just end up feeling crappy about myself. Because if they arent going to be that into me, why even try anymore?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What is the Average Number of People You Have Kissed?
While listening to my Pandora at work, a video add for Dentyne Pure gum starts playing. This is what I hear through my headphones....
"The average person has 28 first kisses... Here is the gum for the rest of the time"
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 28 first kisses?? Is it just me, or does this number just seem large for an average person? So then it got me thinking. Have I kissed 28 people? And what constitutes as a kiss?
According to Dictionary.com, to kiss is to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.
Well, if I was to go off this definition I have definitely kissed way more than 28 people, I would would have to say probably close to the hundreds! This is because I kiss my family on the cheek when greeting them hello and saying goodbye. And I mean, ym family is pretty big so that number would be pretty high up there. And that doesnt include my friends either that I will give a good peck on the cheek every once in a while to show my love.
So I converesed with a friend on this topic. This same friend had also seen the commercial and was wondering the same thing herself. Have I kissed 28 people in my lifetime?
We determined that the kiss that they meant was anything that caused the two lips to touch, with some sort of sensual feeling to it and the possibility of tongue being involved (well, we also pretty much figured this out by watching the commercial and the guy/girl in the commercial were ending a date and leaned in to do the kiss goodnight.) So they definitely were not talking about kissing your grandmother goodbye.....
Okay so here goes the game. How many people have we kissed? And so we sat down and determined when a kiss could have occured. You count all the guys you have dated/saw but were never official, anytime you played spin the bottle as a kid, drunk makeouts at the bar/party, etc. And we determined that any normal college student will be near that 28 mark!
Think about it, on average...
Most people have thier first kiss between the ages of 12-16. And this is usually with someone who had a crush on you or vice versa.
Once in high school, you "date" roughly 2-5 guys, depending on if you were someone who was a serial dater or someone who wanted to be with one person.
For those that make it to college, if you have a 1 time serious boyfriend you go out the door on this one. But those of us who were constantly single, well you were always up for a good kissing session. I would say in college, kissing about 10 people is the norm over the course of 4 years.
Now do the math - if your first kiss was at, say, 14 - and you graduate college at 23 - that is 9 years. If you kissed the max amount in high school and college that I stated so 5+10 = 15, that is on average of 1.6 kisses a year.
But, it doesnt stop there. If you are a single 20-something and even a 30-something, and are on the dating scene you are definitely not going to be kissing just one guy a year. A friend of mine said between drunk bar makeouts, guys she actually dated, and those that she had small flings with she kissed an average of 10 guys alone in 1 year. 1 YEAR! Do that math - if you kissed an average of 5-10 guys a year, and you dont get too serious until your mid 30's - well then, you have officially kissed close to 30, 40, possibly even 50 people in your dating lifetime.
Wow. That can be a pretty high number. Now, this does not make you a slut. There is no harm in a good kiss. Maybe there was one person you went on a date with, wasnt feeling it but to be nice you shared a nice peck goodnight never to talk to them again. But kissing isnt a numbers game like most people keep of those that they have hooked up with - a lot of times you put those that you just kissed on the backburner. So many people may never know their exact number, because everyone determines a kiss differently.
Was I able to determine my number? Kind of - I was able to get close to a number just from what I can remember/who I have rememberd kissing. Will I share it with you? Well, depeneds on how close we are and how well you know me. I will say, an average is an average and maybe I am close to it, maybe I am not. But if I stay single until my 30s, I can be well on my way to kissing a good number of men.
If you want, you can take a guess at my number - and maybe the closest person will win a prize. Depends on how nice I am feeling :)
Disclaimer... this blog excludes anyone that has been with the same person for many, many years or people who do not date/meet guys on a regular basis. These are averages that I took from people who are constantly single, some of which are in their mid-to-upper 20s and have not had too serious of a boyfriend in quite some time a.k.a are on the dating scene. Also, I would say this is not the norm - there are some single people who just dont go and make out with anyone they see. I would say this covers a small % of people out in the world. But because of these people, the averages are higher for the total population. I would like to take this time to say thank you to the people who will kiss anyone and anything!
"The average person has 28 first kisses... Here is the gum for the rest of the time"
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 28 first kisses?? Is it just me, or does this number just seem large for an average person? So then it got me thinking. Have I kissed 28 people? And what constitutes as a kiss?
According to Dictionary.com, to kiss is to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.
Well, if I was to go off this definition I have definitely kissed way more than 28 people, I would would have to say probably close to the hundreds! This is because I kiss my family on the cheek when greeting them hello and saying goodbye. And I mean, ym family is pretty big so that number would be pretty high up there. And that doesnt include my friends either that I will give a good peck on the cheek every once in a while to show my love.
So I converesed with a friend on this topic. This same friend had also seen the commercial and was wondering the same thing herself. Have I kissed 28 people in my lifetime?
We determined that the kiss that they meant was anything that caused the two lips to touch, with some sort of sensual feeling to it and the possibility of tongue being involved (well, we also pretty much figured this out by watching the commercial and the guy/girl in the commercial were ending a date and leaned in to do the kiss goodnight.) So they definitely were not talking about kissing your grandmother goodbye.....
Okay so here goes the game. How many people have we kissed? And so we sat down and determined when a kiss could have occured. You count all the guys you have dated/saw but were never official, anytime you played spin the bottle as a kid, drunk makeouts at the bar/party, etc. And we determined that any normal college student will be near that 28 mark!
Think about it, on average...
Most people have thier first kiss between the ages of 12-16. And this is usually with someone who had a crush on you or vice versa.
Once in high school, you "date" roughly 2-5 guys, depending on if you were someone who was a serial dater or someone who wanted to be with one person.
For those that make it to college, if you have a 1 time serious boyfriend you go out the door on this one. But those of us who were constantly single, well you were always up for a good kissing session. I would say in college, kissing about 10 people is the norm over the course of 4 years.
Now do the math - if your first kiss was at, say, 14 - and you graduate college at 23 - that is 9 years. If you kissed the max amount in high school and college that I stated so 5+10 = 15, that is on average of 1.6 kisses a year.
But, it doesnt stop there. If you are a single 20-something and even a 30-something, and are on the dating scene you are definitely not going to be kissing just one guy a year. A friend of mine said between drunk bar makeouts, guys she actually dated, and those that she had small flings with she kissed an average of 10 guys alone in 1 year. 1 YEAR! Do that math - if you kissed an average of 5-10 guys a year, and you dont get too serious until your mid 30's - well then, you have officially kissed close to 30, 40, possibly even 50 people in your dating lifetime.
Wow. That can be a pretty high number. Now, this does not make you a slut. There is no harm in a good kiss. Maybe there was one person you went on a date with, wasnt feeling it but to be nice you shared a nice peck goodnight never to talk to them again. But kissing isnt a numbers game like most people keep of those that they have hooked up with - a lot of times you put those that you just kissed on the backburner. So many people may never know their exact number, because everyone determines a kiss differently.
Was I able to determine my number? Kind of - I was able to get close to a number just from what I can remember/who I have rememberd kissing. Will I share it with you? Well, depeneds on how close we are and how well you know me. I will say, an average is an average and maybe I am close to it, maybe I am not. But if I stay single until my 30s, I can be well on my way to kissing a good number of men.
If you want, you can take a guess at my number - and maybe the closest person will win a prize. Depends on how nice I am feeling :)
Disclaimer... this blog excludes anyone that has been with the same person for many, many years or people who do not date/meet guys on a regular basis. These are averages that I took from people who are constantly single, some of which are in their mid-to-upper 20s and have not had too serious of a boyfriend in quite some time a.k.a are on the dating scene. Also, I would say this is not the norm - there are some single people who just dont go and make out with anyone they see. I would say this covers a small % of people out in the world. But because of these people, the averages are higher for the total population. I would like to take this time to say thank you to the people who will kiss anyone and anything!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
How Did Dating Occur Without Cell Phones?
We live in an era today that is entirely surrounded by cell phones. They rule our entire lives, and when one is not working, broke, or gone missing because we left it somewhere/it got stolen we feel like it is the end of the world (literally).
No people, we will not die without them but some of us (and yes, me 100%) don't feel like ourselves when we don't have it available to us. This is just one example of me always on my phone. I apparently dance while texting too. This sadly is not a joke, my friends can re-enact it quite well.
I admit it. I am addicted to my cell phone. It goes everywhere with me, it is on me at all times, hell it is usually in my hand! I cant imagine a time when people did not have cell phones. It boggles me that people communicated and got around in life without being able to contact others or be contacted themselves at any moment.
The topic of cell phones though actually got started over the weekend when a friend was telling me that her parents were comparing the dating world today from during the time they dated just by the use of the cell phone (BY THE WAY... if you haven't already noticed many of my blog topics come from conversations that I have already had, I just feel like there are some that I need to share with everyone else.)
This is what I learned from the conversation (or assumed because of the conversation):
First off, when they exchanged phone numbers they literally had to write them down on a piece of paper, on thier hand/arm, or memorize them. There was no handy, dandy device readily available to type the number in and then have it saved for when we wanted to contact them/be contacted. So does this mean people carried pens and paper on them for when they met someone? Because I lose pens all the time. Just sayin...
Second off, they literally had to wait to hear from the person. Nowadays, if we give out our phone number and dont hear from the person in a day, hell even that same night, we are annoyed and automatically assume we will not hear from them at all because they didn't have the courage to contact us right away. But, there was no "right away" you had to wait until you either got home, or the other person got home, to hear from them.I guess people had more patience back then?? I couldn't handle it, I don't have patience. Ask my mom, she knows.
Third off , if they said they were coming to pick you up, you literally had to bank on the fact that they were coming and would not be late. There were no cell phones to call and give a heads up that they might be running late due to traffic or a flat tire, or that they got lost getting to your place. Also, once they were at your place to pick you up, there was no phone call or text from the car saying they were right outside. People actually had to get out of thier cars, ring the doorbell, and pick the person up at the door. I guess this is where the general dating gestures and mannersims go out the door these days - and to think we complain that men aren't "gentlemen" to us. It is because apparently cell phones make people lazy!!
Fourth off, there was no ability to constantly talk to that other person. These days, even when we are on vacation and getting away from the world there is always that cell phone laying by us in case someone wants to call or contact us via text (because like I have said before, calling has gone out the window but IT'S OKAY) We are always on our phone, having conversations via text. But what about back in the day when people actually did call? And if you were not home, left a message. And if you were not too busy, then you got a hold of them. And this went on for a cycle until you actually conversed on the phone to make plans. And if we dont hear from people right away these days, lordy the world has ended. We are sitting on our phones opening it every 10 minutes to see if that person has texted us back to (most of the time) find out nope, they have not. And then we get our hopes up.
But in all seriousness... besides just the dating world, we are too caught up in being readily accesible at all times of the day. It is sad to think that if we dont hear from someone within an hour something is wrong with them or something bad happend. But people really did used to live that way and it is something we are just not used to!
It is cool, even after this blog I will still have my cell phone on me at all times. So feel free to text me all you want - I will most likely answer.
I admit it. I am addicted to my cell phone. It goes everywhere with me, it is on me at all times, hell it is usually in my hand! I cant imagine a time when people did not have cell phones. It boggles me that people communicated and got around in life without being able to contact others or be contacted themselves at any moment.
The topic of cell phones though actually got started over the weekend when a friend was telling me that her parents were comparing the dating world today from during the time they dated just by the use of the cell phone (BY THE WAY... if you haven't already noticed many of my blog topics come from conversations that I have already had, I just feel like there are some that I need to share with everyone else.)
This is what I learned from the conversation (or assumed because of the conversation):
First off, when they exchanged phone numbers they literally had to write them down on a piece of paper, on thier hand/arm, or memorize them. There was no handy, dandy device readily available to type the number in and then have it saved for when we wanted to contact them/be contacted. So does this mean people carried pens and paper on them for when they met someone? Because I lose pens all the time. Just sayin...
Second off, they literally had to wait to hear from the person. Nowadays, if we give out our phone number and dont hear from the person in a day, hell even that same night, we are annoyed and automatically assume we will not hear from them at all because they didn't have the courage to contact us right away. But, there was no "right away" you had to wait until you either got home, or the other person got home, to hear from them.I guess people had more patience back then?? I couldn't handle it, I don't have patience. Ask my mom, she knows.
Third off , if they said they were coming to pick you up, you literally had to bank on the fact that they were coming and would not be late. There were no cell phones to call and give a heads up that they might be running late due to traffic or a flat tire, or that they got lost getting to your place. Also, once they were at your place to pick you up, there was no phone call or text from the car saying they were right outside. People actually had to get out of thier cars, ring the doorbell, and pick the person up at the door. I guess this is where the general dating gestures and mannersims go out the door these days - and to think we complain that men aren't "gentlemen" to us. It is because apparently cell phones make people lazy!!
Fourth off, there was no ability to constantly talk to that other person. These days, even when we are on vacation and getting away from the world there is always that cell phone laying by us in case someone wants to call or contact us via text (because like I have said before, calling has gone out the window but IT'S OKAY) We are always on our phone, having conversations via text. But what about back in the day when people actually did call? And if you were not home, left a message. And if you were not too busy, then you got a hold of them. And this went on for a cycle until you actually conversed on the phone to make plans. And if we dont hear from people right away these days, lordy the world has ended. We are sitting on our phones opening it every 10 minutes to see if that person has texted us back to (most of the time) find out nope, they have not. And then we get our hopes up.
But in all seriousness... besides just the dating world, we are too caught up in being readily accesible at all times of the day. It is sad to think that if we dont hear from someone within an hour something is wrong with them or something bad happend. But people really did used to live that way and it is something we are just not used to!
It is cool, even after this blog I will still have my cell phone on me at all times. So feel free to text me all you want - I will most likely answer.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Debate: Does Dating = Being Exclusive?
For this blog I am going to go back and forth between the debate of whether you are considered "exclusive" if you are dating someone.
First off, let us define dating.
According to Wikipedia - Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
The Free Dictionary by Farlex offers two definitions -
First off, let us define dating.
According to Wikipedia - Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
The Free Dictionary by Farlex offers two definitions -
a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
b. One's companion on such an outing (not necessarily out of romantic interest)
Urban dictionary has many different ones, a few of my favorites -
a. Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.
b. A pointless waste of time... defined by massive usage of cologne and/or perfume, awkward sweaty hand-holding, and feelings of puppy love that usually dissolve in a few weeks (or less)
c. a socially acceptable form of prostitution (I personally think the example they had with this one was hilarious, I just had to share this - I spent a $30 for a movie, before the first base. A $50 for lunch, for the second base, and a $70 on a romantic dinner before we cut to the chase.) Oh Urban Dictionary, you get me everytime with your insane definitions!
Okay so we have (kind of) defined what dating is. Now let's go to the next step of the debate: stating both sides of the case.
Side 1: You are exclusive. You have been a couple of dates with this person, maybe things are going great. Even though you havent talked about a "title" yet, there is that underlying belief that neither of you are allowed to date anyone else at the moment.
Side 2: You are not exclusive, there has been no talk of a title as to being boyfriend/girlfiend so you have free reign to go on a date with anyone you choose to.
Now, DEBATE (and yes, this actual conversation may have recently occured between me and a friend.)
"We have only been on a few dates over the course of the last couple weeks, and we are by no means serious. I have free reign to do whatever I want still right now."
"So, does that mean you would be okay with him/her going on a date with someone else right now?"
"Well, no. If I found that out I would straight up end things right now."
"So then you are exclusive."
"Well, yea, I guess so... I dont know. If someone else came along and wanted to take me out to dinner, well why not? Technically I am still still single, and I am still feeling this person out."
"So then you are exclusive."
"Well, yea, I guess so... I dont know. If someone else came along and wanted to take me out to dinner, well why not? Technically I am still still single, and I am still feeling this person out."
"But you are not okay with the other person doing what they want."
"What I am saying is, we are not serious."
"But what is considered serious? Do you talk to this person everyday?"
"Yes, pretty much."
"How often do you see this person?"
"Averaging every other day right now..."
"Have you been interested in anyone else specifically?"
"No"
"Then you are exclusive!"
"But I dont consider them my boyfriend/girlfriend!"
"No, you dont. But you are past the 3 weeks, I have only been on a couple dates mark. You have even secured the relationship by bringing said person back to your place!"
"No, you dont. But you are past the 3 weeks, I have only been on a couple dates mark. You have even secured the relationship by bringing said person back to your place!"
"Now, now... I may have brought this person back to my place, but that doesnt mean we are serious! Maybe we were just having some fun..."
"Okay. You are right. But, if this person blew you off one night and you were pissed, out of retaliation would you go out in search of a new person?"
"No, I mean I wouldn't not talk to someone but I wouldnt go farther than talking and possibly dancing.."
"So you wouldnt even consider someone else"
"Not necessarily... I mean, I woudlnt consider it cheating if I hooked up with another person. We arent together"
"But that is not what I am asking - would you feel bad if you did? Would you tell the person you are dating about it?"
"Hell no, if I hooked up with someone I would not tell them. But I wouldnt just go and hook up with someone right now... I have no intentions to."
"So then basically what you are saying is you are not exclusive, but your innate feelings are saying yes I am exclusive and so you wouldnt do anything"
"Ah I guess so? I dont know I am confused!"
So what did we determine? Well, for one everyone has thier own definition of dating and seriousness and when they are considered exclusive. Some people think they have free reign until the title is there, some people are okay with sticking to one person until things are figured out. BUT.... even if you consider yourself "free and single" some of you still have that exclusive feeling to where you wouldn't consider going on a date with someone else, even if the option was there, and would not want the other person going on a date with someone else either.
So the answer to the debate: If you are well within the dating realm, it has been a few weeks and things are progressing, you are exclusive. If you do not hear from this person regularly, rarely see them, and dont know where things are going - Oh definitely not exclusive and free to do what you want!
Anyone else have opinions on this topic?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Well People... I am Not in College Anymore!
It has finally hit me. I no longer am that young, college kid anymore. Oh I know it has been almost 2 years since I have graduated from the great University of Illinois - but for a while I still felt like I could do it. I could live, party, eat like a college student and get by working that 8-5 job during the week.
Well I can't and reality is starting to hit me in the face that I may be becoming AN ADULT (yes everyone gasp with me). Here are a few examples as to how I figured this out over the last 2 years:
Recovery Period
The time between partying and resting has gotten bigger. I feel like I need more days to get over the weekend festivities. When I was in college, my recoup period was less than a day. Give me a few hours and I would be right back on track. However, now when Monday comes around I am wishing that I had another day to the weekend. This isnt college anymore where I could sleep in, take naps during the day, skip class if I felt I didnt need to go and get some more rest... this is real life! AND when it is the weekend, my body is so used to waking up early during the week that I rarely sleep in like the old days - I am up at the crack of dawn trying to figure out what I am going to do with my day. Oh the days of naps... how I long for thee.
Money, money, money
In collge I was poor, but could afford to go out every night because the drink specials were ridiculous - 75 cent shots, $5 pitchers, $2 well drinks - it was amazing. Sometimes all you needed was a $20 bill and you were good for a few days! But it isnt even about the now-more-expensive $12 pitchers that we buy, but its life in general! Our apartments (at least at U of I) come furnished so there was never no need to buy furniture - who knew lamps and dressers could be so expensive?? Not only that, but lets kick in all the bills that come with being an adult. Phone bill, car payment, car insurance, rent and utlities, credit card, and the oh-so-hated student loans. College may have been some of the best 4 years of my life, but that is one expensive piece of paper that I purchased to get a job in this world. Oh well, 15 years from now I guess it will be worth it when I am done paying all that off... Who knew being an adult came with the constant writing of checks... note to those who will be looking to buy me a birthday present my check stash is getting pretty low! (and no I am not asking for you to write me a check, I literally will be looking for books of checks, I am down to about 1 book left and will be needing more. I love sports, outdoors, and girlie themes fyi.)
Jobs
This area is scary for anyone, but those of us just getting out of college and not truly knowing where we will end up with our degree are just plain freaked out. I mean not only is the job market so intensely competitive, but even knowing where to look for a job is stressful enough. And throw in health insurance? 401(k)!? BENEFITS!? None of these even existed when I was bartending at Fubar - I was just excited when I went home with straight up cash money from the night. Now I have to worry about putting money into savings for (another gasp) when I want to settle down and start a family, even protect myself in the future. Once you land a job though, the stress (somewhat) disappears - now you just have to keep that job especially in a market where layoffs are more common these days. If only there was someone on graduation day as we walked out with our diplomas giving us a guidebook on exactly what job we will hold, have all the forms filled out, and basically our life planned out for us... oh that would be sweet.
Food
I am an adult, and I am on my own. So this means eating like an adult. Going to the store, I tend to go for more fruits and veggies lately, and even catch myself buying more ingredients to make new dishes. As I am buying weekly, I realize that wow I sure dont eat out as much as I used to in college. There are no late night burger runs, 2am pizza deliveries because we have the drunk munchies, not even any afternoon McDonalds runs because I am hungover and that is all I am craving. I cant even tell you the last time I had "fast food" (side not - fast food I consider Burger King, McDonalds, Wendys... anything that has a drive thru and you dont need to get out of your car to consume a vast amount of food) I have taken to making my own food these days and this is one thing I have been quite enjoying. Yay for food!
Independence
We all admit to it, before we made any decisions about anything we always ran them by our parents to make sure we are going down the right path. Not even just that, but we always had our parents there to lean back on if we needed it. Random grocery store and Target runs while they visited us in college, home cooked meals when we went home on the weekends and holidays, bills that were paid for when we were home for the summer (because we did not have rent or utilities to cover). Ah the joys of going off for 9 months and being on our own, but then going back home to be taken care of. But what about when you realize that you arent that "I think I am an adult but still have my parents make my decisions for me" college kid anymoer and literally are now making your own decisions? For me, it was a transition that I got used to being so far away from home and literally having to decide everything myself out here in Colorado. But wow, I will say it is one intense feeling when you realized that you did it all on your own - independence baby!! That will send you into adulthood and out of college in no time!
Dating
Yes, I just had to throw something in here about this scene. Because well, its a topic that me and the girls love to talk about! But for this one it has more to do with figuring out the taken type from the single type. In college it was easy - if someone was taken they (usually) said something to you or you knew the person they were with. However, now that we arent surrounded by just 20-somethings we actually have to pay attention to the RING FINGER. The finger that says "hey, I got married and love my partner" kind of thing. It is a slap of reality when you realize that the first thing you notice on someone when you first meet them is "do they have a ring?" At least, I seem to notice I have been doing that more often.....
Now dont get me wrong, I am not complaining about not being in college anymore. I sure dont miss late night studying sessions, papers that were horrible to write, homework that just seemed to never end. And to be honest, there is nothing more satisfying than when you actually feel like an adult, like you have moved on in the world far from the ol' college days where we were young, naiive, immature, and just flatout broke.
But there are some things that I wish would carry over into the adulthood - all I am asking is that siestas in the afternoon should be a part of our work schedule.
Well I can't and reality is starting to hit me in the face that I may be becoming AN ADULT (yes everyone gasp with me). Here are a few examples as to how I figured this out over the last 2 years:
Recovery Period
The time between partying and resting has gotten bigger. I feel like I need more days to get over the weekend festivities. When I was in college, my recoup period was less than a day. Give me a few hours and I would be right back on track. However, now when Monday comes around I am wishing that I had another day to the weekend. This isnt college anymore where I could sleep in, take naps during the day, skip class if I felt I didnt need to go and get some more rest... this is real life! AND when it is the weekend, my body is so used to waking up early during the week that I rarely sleep in like the old days - I am up at the crack of dawn trying to figure out what I am going to do with my day. Oh the days of naps... how I long for thee.
Money, money, money
In collge I was poor, but could afford to go out every night because the drink specials were ridiculous - 75 cent shots, $5 pitchers, $2 well drinks - it was amazing. Sometimes all you needed was a $20 bill and you were good for a few days! But it isnt even about the now-more-expensive $12 pitchers that we buy, but its life in general! Our apartments (at least at U of I) come furnished so there was never no need to buy furniture - who knew lamps and dressers could be so expensive?? Not only that, but lets kick in all the bills that come with being an adult. Phone bill, car payment, car insurance, rent and utlities, credit card, and the oh-so-hated student loans. College may have been some of the best 4 years of my life, but that is one expensive piece of paper that I purchased to get a job in this world. Oh well, 15 years from now I guess it will be worth it when I am done paying all that off... Who knew being an adult came with the constant writing of checks... note to those who will be looking to buy me a birthday present my check stash is getting pretty low! (and no I am not asking for you to write me a check, I literally will be looking for books of checks, I am down to about 1 book left and will be needing more. I love sports, outdoors, and girlie themes fyi.)
Jobs
This area is scary for anyone, but those of us just getting out of college and not truly knowing where we will end up with our degree are just plain freaked out. I mean not only is the job market so intensely competitive, but even knowing where to look for a job is stressful enough. And throw in health insurance? 401(k)!? BENEFITS!? None of these even existed when I was bartending at Fubar - I was just excited when I went home with straight up cash money from the night. Now I have to worry about putting money into savings for (another gasp) when I want to settle down and start a family, even protect myself in the future. Once you land a job though, the stress (somewhat) disappears - now you just have to keep that job especially in a market where layoffs are more common these days. If only there was someone on graduation day as we walked out with our diplomas giving us a guidebook on exactly what job we will hold, have all the forms filled out, and basically our life planned out for us... oh that would be sweet.
Food
I am an adult, and I am on my own. So this means eating like an adult. Going to the store, I tend to go for more fruits and veggies lately, and even catch myself buying more ingredients to make new dishes. As I am buying weekly, I realize that wow I sure dont eat out as much as I used to in college. There are no late night burger runs, 2am pizza deliveries because we have the drunk munchies, not even any afternoon McDonalds runs because I am hungover and that is all I am craving. I cant even tell you the last time I had "fast food" (side not - fast food I consider Burger King, McDonalds, Wendys... anything that has a drive thru and you dont need to get out of your car to consume a vast amount of food) I have taken to making my own food these days and this is one thing I have been quite enjoying. Yay for food!
Independence
We all admit to it, before we made any decisions about anything we always ran them by our parents to make sure we are going down the right path. Not even just that, but we always had our parents there to lean back on if we needed it. Random grocery store and Target runs while they visited us in college, home cooked meals when we went home on the weekends and holidays, bills that were paid for when we were home for the summer (because we did not have rent or utilities to cover). Ah the joys of going off for 9 months and being on our own, but then going back home to be taken care of. But what about when you realize that you arent that "I think I am an adult but still have my parents make my decisions for me" college kid anymoer and literally are now making your own decisions? For me, it was a transition that I got used to being so far away from home and literally having to decide everything myself out here in Colorado. But wow, I will say it is one intense feeling when you realized that you did it all on your own - independence baby!! That will send you into adulthood and out of college in no time!
Dating
Yes, I just had to throw something in here about this scene. Because well, its a topic that me and the girls love to talk about! But for this one it has more to do with figuring out the taken type from the single type. In college it was easy - if someone was taken they (usually) said something to you or you knew the person they were with. However, now that we arent surrounded by just 20-somethings we actually have to pay attention to the RING FINGER. The finger that says "hey, I got married and love my partner" kind of thing. It is a slap of reality when you realize that the first thing you notice on someone when you first meet them is "do they have a ring?" At least, I seem to notice I have been doing that more often.....
Now dont get me wrong, I am not complaining about not being in college anymore. I sure dont miss late night studying sessions, papers that were horrible to write, homework that just seemed to never end. And to be honest, there is nothing more satisfying than when you actually feel like an adult, like you have moved on in the world far from the ol' college days where we were young, naiive, immature, and just flatout broke.
But there are some things that I wish would carry over into the adulthood - all I am asking is that siestas in the afternoon should be a part of our work schedule.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)