Apparent "Solutions" For When You Are In A Rut

For those who want some good reading and/or to see where this blog topic actually came from:
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10287&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730920

Your phone has been silent. No guy approaches you to talk to you. You realize that the only people you converse with are the same sex as you. And the last person you had any type of relations with is now in a serious relationship, with you sitting on the sidelines. Dating Rut. Many of us have been there, more so than others. We have times that when it rains, it pours - and then there are the times when you are in a drought and are just hoping that the next semi-cute guy takes interest in you so you can have someone, anyone, to text and not feel so alone.

After discussing and comparing the ruts that we are in, a friend of mine sent me the article above that describes the different ruts you can be in and how to solve the problems. Well, seeing as this is from match.com and I cant necesarrily relate to it all I am still going to give my own take on these so called solutions and why I think it is easier to say than do:

1. There are no instant sparks - solution: bring out the friend filter.
This part of the article says that when on a first date with someone, dont just brush them aside if you dont feel anything with them right away - that love at first sight doesnt always happen, and to consider them friends and hope that sparks fly later down the line. This is how I feel about this: obviously there were SOME sort of instant sparks to even be on a date with someone. I am not just going to go on a date with the next chump that walks down the street, obviously I say yes because I am somewhat instantly attracted to them. I guess coming from someone who doesnt go out on many dates (and no dont be shocked by this, I have gotten used to it over time) and pretty much every guy that crosses my path turns into the "friend" (even if I dont want them to be just friends) I guess the friend filter is always out for me. What about those of us who dont know how to turn it off!? C'mon match.com, I need answers here!

2. Your date looks great on paper, but thats it - solution: base it on how you are feeling
Okay I am having a hard time relating to this particular one because most guys that are great on resume either 1. pay no attention this way whatsoever 2. is already dating one of my friends 3. has followed number one and went straight into the friend factor. So how do I feel? I feel like I am getting the raw end of the stick here people, how come the good ones are never interested in this?

3. You dont think this person has long term potential - solution: use the "carpe date-em trick"
Well I guess this only pertains to people who are looking for thier very serious mate. I may be looking to date someone, but am not looking to get married anytime soon. So there is no looking for someone with long term potential - just ANY potential for the matter!

4. You swear all the good ones are taken already - solution: look again, at people you usually pass over.
However this one is TOTALLY true. Maybe all the good ones arent "taken" but they definitely arent sending any interest over here and usually are eyeing some other chick. So what this article is telling me though, is that I should take another look around me? In Colorado Springs? I guess I will take this advice the next time I am at Cowboys or Gasoline Alley, the two best places to pick up men (please note the sarcasm in my tone of voice)I wont be so picky to turn down the toothless hick who is asking me to dance with him, he could me my next soulmate!

5. You feel down about yourself and not date worthy- solution: give youself a pre-date prep
Now this is one that we ALL do with our friends already. You know that your best friend is never going to say "you are right, you suck and dont deserve anyone" when you are sitting there complaining about the lack of relationships in your life. That would just be a bad friend. We are always going to say "you deserve the best, you are a great person and someone will like you for who you are" and MEAN IT. Because obviously we are your friends and love you, and are friends with you for a reason. Personally, I truly mean it when I tell my friends that because I only have amazing friends and want nohting but the best for them and to be happy.

So what did I learn from this article? Nothing. It had no solutions as to why I get in a rut, and truly more often than not. However I did realize that obviously I am not ready for the long-term serious committment that most people are looking for on match.com, and hence why I will not be joining that website or any other dating website anytime soon.

I will just hang on for the next guy to show any sorts of interst in me, and then see how long it takes for me to ruin things and become friends with them :)