I recently took a trip to California for work and spent a decent amount of time at the airports due to long layovers, delays, and showing up at the airport 2 hours before my flights. I usually take this time to post up in a good spot in the middle of it all, bust out my laptop or iPod and just people watch.
One particular people watching session occured during my 2 hour layover in LA. I couldn't get on the internet because this airport decides it wants to charge for wireless usage (stupid in my opinion. How is it the largest airports - LA, Chicago, Atlanta - charge for use yet smaller airports and even Denver allow us free wireless internet? It's a scam that's what it is!) So I took out my iPod, got comfortable at my terminal and took in the surroundings that were around me.
I took notice of a couple sitting in a corner near the windows that overlooked the runways. The reason I noticed this couple was because of the massive amounts of PDA (public display of affection for those who dont know the acronym) that was going on. Kissing, touching, rubbing - it was almost as if they wanted people to know they were together. I am not saying they were about to rip each others clothes off and have mad wild animal sex, but they obviously could not keep their hands off each other. Yes, I get that maybe you are in love and just feel like you need to show it but seriously? In the middle of the airport for all of us to watch you two give each other the googly eyes (and I am sure there were pet names being passed back and forth as well, but thank goodness for the iPod so that I didnt have to listen to it)
This blatant show of affection got me thinking though - when is PDA acceptable and appropriate? And what forms of PDA are acceptable?
So here is MEGAN'S GUIDE TO APPROPRIATE PDA (This is all based on my own opinion of what I would like and not like to see in public/groups of people. Some may agree and some may not but I tend to think that I set a pretty good standard here in my guide)
Appropiate: Slightly and inconspicuously brushing your hand across theirs while walking down the street or under the table when sitting next to each other at the table, maybe a little bit of hand holding. This shows that you care for them and want to be with them, but not overdoing it or making it obvious.
Not Appropriate:Grabbing their butt while walking down the street, using both arms to wrap around their arm and snuggling against them, holding both hands, grabbing their leg and rubbing it back and forth when sitting next to them, basically sitting on their lap, wrapping your arms around them from the back and rubbing thier chest - lets just say basically rubbing their entire body down. This is just something people don't really want to see is you literally all over them when you are standing next to them. Yes we get it you like each other, but you don't have to lean all over them and CONSTANTLY be touching them. It is a bit overdone.
Appropriate: A small, slight peck on the cheek or lips every once in a while. It shows affection and it's kind of cute - again when it's not overdone.
Not Appropriate: Sticking your tongue down their throat every chance you get, constantly pecking them on the cheek or lips, licking their face, snuggling your nose and into their neck and pecking them, giving them nose kisses. I am sorry there are just some things that should be kept in the bedroom and making out/constantly kissing the other is just one of those things.
Appropriate: Looking into their eyes every once in a while and smiling at them. It allows that connection to still be there, but yet you are able to keep eye contact with the other people around you.
Not Appropriate: Constantly oogling into their eyes and having the "gosh I love you look" at them. Again this is something that those of us around you do not want to watch or look at. I mean, seriously we get it you like each other! Dont make me gag because you are giving each other the puppy dog eyes.
PDA every once in a while is not bad - it shows that you care about the person, sometimes it can even be cute and those of us watching go "awww" because we want that. But when you are sloppy, touchy, and kissy none of us want to be around that watching. It is uncomfortable and almost rude because it is like you are showing it up to everyone's face.
Here is my advice to those who over-do the whole PDA thing: Either walk away from each other or go get a room.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Funks: How to Get Rid of Them
We all go through those little moments where we are in a funk, where we just don't feel like ourselves. Sometimes you cant explain why you are in that funk. It can be as little as waking up on the wrong side of the bed or as big as not feeling good about yourself because you gained 5lbs and your clothes don't seem to fit. In any case, there are days that we are down on ourselves and have no energy to even have any sort of positive thoughts.
For me these funks are very few and far between. I am someone who sees the positive in everything and is always there and willing to bring everyone else into brighter spirits. However, I recently was not my normal self and will fully admit was not in the best of moods. Having the flu did not help in this particular case because I was stuck in bed for 2 days with nothing better to do than to think about everything. And when I think too much I get overwhelmed and I want to run away from the world.
We all think at the moment that we will never feel good about ourselves again. I mean, I am the one who wrote the blog about me being awesome, why is it I do not feel awesome?! But for every case, there is always something to help us get out of those funks. Here are some examples that have not only worked for me, but for some friends of mine as well:
Get out of Town - Sometimes it's something as little as getting away from the place that you are currently residing in and taking a mini vacation. It can be as big as getting on a plane and going somewhere far away or it can just be getting in your car and driving one hour to the next city. Either way, you are not in the place that funk began in and thus your mind can try and focus on other things.
Do Something You Have Never Done Before - If there is something that you have been wanting to do for so long and have been putting it off, this is the best time to go for it. Not only does it get your mind off of what you are thinking about, but it allows you to cross one more thing off the bucket list. Never been skydiving? No better time than to jump out of a plane (safely) and get that rush that you are looking for. Have a goal to finish the incline in less than an hour? Best time to push your body to the limits. Love reading blogs? Start a blog yourself. You are then able to take pride in yourself for starting something and focus on taking pride in yourself for doing that one thing you have been wanting to do.
Shop till you Drop - Retail therapy can always help bring a person's mood up! I am not saying go out and spend an extravagent amount of money, but sometimes buying one nice thing for youself can lift those spirits. It can be as little as a new pair of sandals for the spring and summer, a new shirt that makes you look and feel good, maybe even revamping your space a bit by buying new pillows for the couch or a new bedspread for your bedroom. Either way dropping a little dough and treating yourself to something always makes you feel a bit better. Note: you dont want to spend TOO much money to where then you are pissed at yourself for dropping so much dough. Usually sales, clearances, or just something little for yourself is good in this case.
Get Outdoors - Even in the winter, getting outdoors and getting some Vitamin D on your skin can help anyone get into a better spirit. Studies even show that people who spend more time in the sun are generally happier. Hence why Colorado people are usually happy and healthy because the sun is out 300 days of the year! But being cooped up indoors is not going to help you get out of the funk because you are secluding yourself in. Get out, go for a walk or even a run to clear your mind. If you have a backyard, do some gardening. If you have a dog, take them for a long walk to the park or on a hiking trail. It helps because it gives you more energy and, well, there is no better feeling than having that sun beat down on your skin!! (plus you can get some color and work on your tan, and everyone knows one feels better about themselves when they have a darker tint to their skin!)
Be With Your Friends - Yes, when you are in the funk you don't want to be around anybody. But, you soon realize that being by yourself is not helping your mood whatsoever. And if you surround yourself with your closest friends, you can talk to them about what is bothering you. This allows you to not only get all that off your chest but your friends can relate and share their stories about when they were in funks. You can realize that hey, this isnt only me feeling this way and then take their advice as to how to brighten your mood and get back to your normal self.
Immerse Yourself With Work - Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of what is bothering you and so focusing on other things can help you from thinking too much. Whether it is work around the house/apt, your actual job or (if you are a student) getting your schoolwork done, focusing on all these things and getting them done will allow you remove yourself from the funky situation. Being busy is always good because it allows you to not just be sitting around doing nothing but thinking.
These are just a few examples, and everyone has their own way of getting out of their funks. One thing my friends and I have noticed though is that drinking WILL NOT HELP. Drinking will actually make you feel worse about yourself. Yes, usually people associate a fun night on the town with having a few cocktails but alcohol is also a depressant. So when you feel crappy (as in the cases of when you are on the verge of getting sick, you feel worse after a night of drinking and usually get sicker) staying away from alcohol is the best thing because then you dont have those drunk tears coming out. And everyone knows drunk tears are the worst tears because they tend to not stop once they are started.
For me, I am funk free and ready to take on the world as I usually do. And with Spring officially here and nice weather finally rolling in, there is no better time to be in a great mood. Now I just need it to get a bit warmer so I can start laying by the pool and working on getting my summer tan back :)
For me these funks are very few and far between. I am someone who sees the positive in everything and is always there and willing to bring everyone else into brighter spirits. However, I recently was not my normal self and will fully admit was not in the best of moods. Having the flu did not help in this particular case because I was stuck in bed for 2 days with nothing better to do than to think about everything. And when I think too much I get overwhelmed and I want to run away from the world.
We all think at the moment that we will never feel good about ourselves again. I mean, I am the one who wrote the blog about me being awesome, why is it I do not feel awesome?! But for every case, there is always something to help us get out of those funks. Here are some examples that have not only worked for me, but for some friends of mine as well:
Get out of Town - Sometimes it's something as little as getting away from the place that you are currently residing in and taking a mini vacation. It can be as big as getting on a plane and going somewhere far away or it can just be getting in your car and driving one hour to the next city. Either way, you are not in the place that funk began in and thus your mind can try and focus on other things.
Do Something You Have Never Done Before - If there is something that you have been wanting to do for so long and have been putting it off, this is the best time to go for it. Not only does it get your mind off of what you are thinking about, but it allows you to cross one more thing off the bucket list. Never been skydiving? No better time than to jump out of a plane (safely) and get that rush that you are looking for. Have a goal to finish the incline in less than an hour? Best time to push your body to the limits. Love reading blogs? Start a blog yourself. You are then able to take pride in yourself for starting something and focus on taking pride in yourself for doing that one thing you have been wanting to do.
Shop till you Drop - Retail therapy can always help bring a person's mood up! I am not saying go out and spend an extravagent amount of money, but sometimes buying one nice thing for youself can lift those spirits. It can be as little as a new pair of sandals for the spring and summer, a new shirt that makes you look and feel good, maybe even revamping your space a bit by buying new pillows for the couch or a new bedspread for your bedroom. Either way dropping a little dough and treating yourself to something always makes you feel a bit better. Note: you dont want to spend TOO much money to where then you are pissed at yourself for dropping so much dough. Usually sales, clearances, or just something little for yourself is good in this case.
Get Outdoors - Even in the winter, getting outdoors and getting some Vitamin D on your skin can help anyone get into a better spirit. Studies even show that people who spend more time in the sun are generally happier. Hence why Colorado people are usually happy and healthy because the sun is out 300 days of the year! But being cooped up indoors is not going to help you get out of the funk because you are secluding yourself in. Get out, go for a walk or even a run to clear your mind. If you have a backyard, do some gardening. If you have a dog, take them for a long walk to the park or on a hiking trail. It helps because it gives you more energy and, well, there is no better feeling than having that sun beat down on your skin!! (plus you can get some color and work on your tan, and everyone knows one feels better about themselves when they have a darker tint to their skin!)
Be With Your Friends - Yes, when you are in the funk you don't want to be around anybody. But, you soon realize that being by yourself is not helping your mood whatsoever. And if you surround yourself with your closest friends, you can talk to them about what is bothering you. This allows you to not only get all that off your chest but your friends can relate and share their stories about when they were in funks. You can realize that hey, this isnt only me feeling this way and then take their advice as to how to brighten your mood and get back to your normal self.
Immerse Yourself With Work - Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of what is bothering you and so focusing on other things can help you from thinking too much. Whether it is work around the house/apt, your actual job or (if you are a student) getting your schoolwork done, focusing on all these things and getting them done will allow you remove yourself from the funky situation. Being busy is always good because it allows you to not just be sitting around doing nothing but thinking.
These are just a few examples, and everyone has their own way of getting out of their funks. One thing my friends and I have noticed though is that drinking WILL NOT HELP. Drinking will actually make you feel worse about yourself. Yes, usually people associate a fun night on the town with having a few cocktails but alcohol is also a depressant. So when you feel crappy (as in the cases of when you are on the verge of getting sick, you feel worse after a night of drinking and usually get sicker) staying away from alcohol is the best thing because then you dont have those drunk tears coming out. And everyone knows drunk tears are the worst tears because they tend to not stop once they are started.
For me, I am funk free and ready to take on the world as I usually do. And with Spring officially here and nice weather finally rolling in, there is no better time to be in a great mood. Now I just need it to get a bit warmer so I can start laying by the pool and working on getting my summer tan back :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
He's Just Not That Into You
Saturday evening, after a great dinner for a friend's birthday, I decided to stop at a RedBox and rent a couple movies and relax for once (sidenote, I was still hurting from the previous evening and doing absolutely nothing just sounded fabulous)
I came across a movie that I have been wanting to see for a while. It not only has a great cast but I could relate to the title so much that I just needed to get it - He's Just Not That Into You.
I figured that since I have such amazing luck with guys (please note the sarcasm here) I thought I could take a few pointers from this movie so I popped it into my DVD player and curled up in bed.
Once the movie was done I realized something. I realized that that most of the men I have met in my life have never been that into me. But how come I never notice this right away? Why is it that it takes me weeks, sometimes months, to realize that maybe these guys just are not interested, or do not want anything to do with me? When in all reality all the signs are right there in front of me.
He does not call or text. This is the most obvious one for you literally do not hear from them. When I realize that they dont even contact to say hi because they are thinking about me, it's a realization that they are just not into me. What about when I do contact them and hear nothing back? I mean I am not saying I need to hear back right away - but when it has been 3, maybe 4 days and there is still no response back I think it is pretty obvious. And if it has been over a week since hearing from them? I have learned that they are not going to be contacting you anytime soon. At this point usually the phone number gets deleted from my phone and I get on with my life, because it is not worth dwelling on something that is obviously not going to happen.
If A Guy Wants A Girl, He Will Make it Happen. This means if he wants to see you, he will call you. If he wants to be with you, he will take you out on a date. He will want to spend time with you if he really wants you. Okay, awesome. This makes me feel real great about myself because no guy has ever really tried to be with me. It feels like I am usually the one initiating the conversation or setting up the plans because I want to see or be with them, and it either never follows through or it happens for a quick second and then poof never hear from them again. I am either doing something wrong or this means no one wants to actually be with me....
Most Guys Only Want One Thing. And that is to hook up with you. And this is where the catch-22 comes into play. If you dont give it up, they will lose interest. If you do give it up too fast, they will lose interest and want to move on to the next booty that they can get. Sometimes if you bring up the committment issue or (for those in semi serious relationships marriage) they get tongue tied, not sure what to think because the only thing they are thinking of is "crap, I am losing my freedom" What freedom?! To just go off and do what you please most of the time? What ever happened to liking someone so much that is the only person you want to be with!
I guess what I have concluded is that maybe I am going after the wrong men. But where are the right ones then? Why is it that I have friends who have guys wanting to see them and wanting to be with them, and I am here on the sidelines staring blankly at my phone wondering why I cant catch a small break here. Because sometimes it just plain sucks to feel like no one ever is really interested enough in you to actually be with you....
I think I may take a break from all men and stop putting myself out there so much to just end up feeling crappy about myself. Because if they arent going to be that into me, why even try anymore?
I came across a movie that I have been wanting to see for a while. It not only has a great cast but I could relate to the title so much that I just needed to get it - He's Just Not That Into You.
I figured that since I have such amazing luck with guys (please note the sarcasm here) I thought I could take a few pointers from this movie so I popped it into my DVD player and curled up in bed.
Once the movie was done I realized something. I realized that that most of the men I have met in my life have never been that into me. But how come I never notice this right away? Why is it that it takes me weeks, sometimes months, to realize that maybe these guys just are not interested, or do not want anything to do with me? When in all reality all the signs are right there in front of me.
He does not call or text. This is the most obvious one for you literally do not hear from them. When I realize that they dont even contact to say hi because they are thinking about me, it's a realization that they are just not into me. What about when I do contact them and hear nothing back? I mean I am not saying I need to hear back right away - but when it has been 3, maybe 4 days and there is still no response back I think it is pretty obvious. And if it has been over a week since hearing from them? I have learned that they are not going to be contacting you anytime soon. At this point usually the phone number gets deleted from my phone and I get on with my life, because it is not worth dwelling on something that is obviously not going to happen.
If A Guy Wants A Girl, He Will Make it Happen. This means if he wants to see you, he will call you. If he wants to be with you, he will take you out on a date. He will want to spend time with you if he really wants you. Okay, awesome. This makes me feel real great about myself because no guy has ever really tried to be with me. It feels like I am usually the one initiating the conversation or setting up the plans because I want to see or be with them, and it either never follows through or it happens for a quick second and then poof never hear from them again. I am either doing something wrong or this means no one wants to actually be with me....
Most Guys Only Want One Thing. And that is to hook up with you. And this is where the catch-22 comes into play. If you dont give it up, they will lose interest. If you do give it up too fast, they will lose interest and want to move on to the next booty that they can get. Sometimes if you bring up the committment issue or (for those in semi serious relationships marriage) they get tongue tied, not sure what to think because the only thing they are thinking of is "crap, I am losing my freedom" What freedom?! To just go off and do what you please most of the time? What ever happened to liking someone so much that is the only person you want to be with!
I guess what I have concluded is that maybe I am going after the wrong men. But where are the right ones then? Why is it that I have friends who have guys wanting to see them and wanting to be with them, and I am here on the sidelines staring blankly at my phone wondering why I cant catch a small break here. Because sometimes it just plain sucks to feel like no one ever is really interested enough in you to actually be with you....
I think I may take a break from all men and stop putting myself out there so much to just end up feeling crappy about myself. Because if they arent going to be that into me, why even try anymore?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What is the Average Number of People You Have Kissed?
While listening to my Pandora at work, a video add for Dentyne Pure gum starts playing. This is what I hear through my headphones....
"The average person has 28 first kisses... Here is the gum for the rest of the time"
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 28 first kisses?? Is it just me, or does this number just seem large for an average person? So then it got me thinking. Have I kissed 28 people? And what constitutes as a kiss?
According to Dictionary.com, to kiss is to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.
Well, if I was to go off this definition I have definitely kissed way more than 28 people, I would would have to say probably close to the hundreds! This is because I kiss my family on the cheek when greeting them hello and saying goodbye. And I mean, ym family is pretty big so that number would be pretty high up there. And that doesnt include my friends either that I will give a good peck on the cheek every once in a while to show my love.
So I converesed with a friend on this topic. This same friend had also seen the commercial and was wondering the same thing herself. Have I kissed 28 people in my lifetime?
We determined that the kiss that they meant was anything that caused the two lips to touch, with some sort of sensual feeling to it and the possibility of tongue being involved (well, we also pretty much figured this out by watching the commercial and the guy/girl in the commercial were ending a date and leaned in to do the kiss goodnight.) So they definitely were not talking about kissing your grandmother goodbye.....
Okay so here goes the game. How many people have we kissed? And so we sat down and determined when a kiss could have occured. You count all the guys you have dated/saw but were never official, anytime you played spin the bottle as a kid, drunk makeouts at the bar/party, etc. And we determined that any normal college student will be near that 28 mark!
Think about it, on average...
Most people have thier first kiss between the ages of 12-16. And this is usually with someone who had a crush on you or vice versa.
Once in high school, you "date" roughly 2-5 guys, depending on if you were someone who was a serial dater or someone who wanted to be with one person.
For those that make it to college, if you have a 1 time serious boyfriend you go out the door on this one. But those of us who were constantly single, well you were always up for a good kissing session. I would say in college, kissing about 10 people is the norm over the course of 4 years.
Now do the math - if your first kiss was at, say, 14 - and you graduate college at 23 - that is 9 years. If you kissed the max amount in high school and college that I stated so 5+10 = 15, that is on average of 1.6 kisses a year.
But, it doesnt stop there. If you are a single 20-something and even a 30-something, and are on the dating scene you are definitely not going to be kissing just one guy a year. A friend of mine said between drunk bar makeouts, guys she actually dated, and those that she had small flings with she kissed an average of 10 guys alone in 1 year. 1 YEAR! Do that math - if you kissed an average of 5-10 guys a year, and you dont get too serious until your mid 30's - well then, you have officially kissed close to 30, 40, possibly even 50 people in your dating lifetime.
Wow. That can be a pretty high number. Now, this does not make you a slut. There is no harm in a good kiss. Maybe there was one person you went on a date with, wasnt feeling it but to be nice you shared a nice peck goodnight never to talk to them again. But kissing isnt a numbers game like most people keep of those that they have hooked up with - a lot of times you put those that you just kissed on the backburner. So many people may never know their exact number, because everyone determines a kiss differently.
Was I able to determine my number? Kind of - I was able to get close to a number just from what I can remember/who I have rememberd kissing. Will I share it with you? Well, depeneds on how close we are and how well you know me. I will say, an average is an average and maybe I am close to it, maybe I am not. But if I stay single until my 30s, I can be well on my way to kissing a good number of men.
If you want, you can take a guess at my number - and maybe the closest person will win a prize. Depends on how nice I am feeling :)
Disclaimer... this blog excludes anyone that has been with the same person for many, many years or people who do not date/meet guys on a regular basis. These are averages that I took from people who are constantly single, some of which are in their mid-to-upper 20s and have not had too serious of a boyfriend in quite some time a.k.a are on the dating scene. Also, I would say this is not the norm - there are some single people who just dont go and make out with anyone they see. I would say this covers a small % of people out in the world. But because of these people, the averages are higher for the total population. I would like to take this time to say thank you to the people who will kiss anyone and anything!
"The average person has 28 first kisses... Here is the gum for the rest of the time"
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 28 first kisses?? Is it just me, or does this number just seem large for an average person? So then it got me thinking. Have I kissed 28 people? And what constitutes as a kiss?
According to Dictionary.com, to kiss is to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.
Well, if I was to go off this definition I have definitely kissed way more than 28 people, I would would have to say probably close to the hundreds! This is because I kiss my family on the cheek when greeting them hello and saying goodbye. And I mean, ym family is pretty big so that number would be pretty high up there. And that doesnt include my friends either that I will give a good peck on the cheek every once in a while to show my love.
So I converesed with a friend on this topic. This same friend had also seen the commercial and was wondering the same thing herself. Have I kissed 28 people in my lifetime?
We determined that the kiss that they meant was anything that caused the two lips to touch, with some sort of sensual feeling to it and the possibility of tongue being involved (well, we also pretty much figured this out by watching the commercial and the guy/girl in the commercial were ending a date and leaned in to do the kiss goodnight.) So they definitely were not talking about kissing your grandmother goodbye.....
Okay so here goes the game. How many people have we kissed? And so we sat down and determined when a kiss could have occured. You count all the guys you have dated/saw but were never official, anytime you played spin the bottle as a kid, drunk makeouts at the bar/party, etc. And we determined that any normal college student will be near that 28 mark!
Think about it, on average...
Most people have thier first kiss between the ages of 12-16. And this is usually with someone who had a crush on you or vice versa.
Once in high school, you "date" roughly 2-5 guys, depending on if you were someone who was a serial dater or someone who wanted to be with one person.
For those that make it to college, if you have a 1 time serious boyfriend you go out the door on this one. But those of us who were constantly single, well you were always up for a good kissing session. I would say in college, kissing about 10 people is the norm over the course of 4 years.
Now do the math - if your first kiss was at, say, 14 - and you graduate college at 23 - that is 9 years. If you kissed the max amount in high school and college that I stated so 5+10 = 15, that is on average of 1.6 kisses a year.
But, it doesnt stop there. If you are a single 20-something and even a 30-something, and are on the dating scene you are definitely not going to be kissing just one guy a year. A friend of mine said between drunk bar makeouts, guys she actually dated, and those that she had small flings with she kissed an average of 10 guys alone in 1 year. 1 YEAR! Do that math - if you kissed an average of 5-10 guys a year, and you dont get too serious until your mid 30's - well then, you have officially kissed close to 30, 40, possibly even 50 people in your dating lifetime.
Wow. That can be a pretty high number. Now, this does not make you a slut. There is no harm in a good kiss. Maybe there was one person you went on a date with, wasnt feeling it but to be nice you shared a nice peck goodnight never to talk to them again. But kissing isnt a numbers game like most people keep of those that they have hooked up with - a lot of times you put those that you just kissed on the backburner. So many people may never know their exact number, because everyone determines a kiss differently.
Was I able to determine my number? Kind of - I was able to get close to a number just from what I can remember/who I have rememberd kissing. Will I share it with you? Well, depeneds on how close we are and how well you know me. I will say, an average is an average and maybe I am close to it, maybe I am not. But if I stay single until my 30s, I can be well on my way to kissing a good number of men.
If you want, you can take a guess at my number - and maybe the closest person will win a prize. Depends on how nice I am feeling :)
Disclaimer... this blog excludes anyone that has been with the same person for many, many years or people who do not date/meet guys on a regular basis. These are averages that I took from people who are constantly single, some of which are in their mid-to-upper 20s and have not had too serious of a boyfriend in quite some time a.k.a are on the dating scene. Also, I would say this is not the norm - there are some single people who just dont go and make out with anyone they see. I would say this covers a small % of people out in the world. But because of these people, the averages are higher for the total population. I would like to take this time to say thank you to the people who will kiss anyone and anything!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
How Did Dating Occur Without Cell Phones?
We live in an era today that is entirely surrounded by cell phones. They rule our entire lives, and when one is not working, broke, or gone missing because we left it somewhere/it got stolen we feel like it is the end of the world (literally).
No people, we will not die without them but some of us (and yes, me 100%) don't feel like ourselves when we don't have it available to us. This is just one example of me always on my phone. I apparently dance while texting too. This sadly is not a joke, my friends can re-enact it quite well.
I admit it. I am addicted to my cell phone. It goes everywhere with me, it is on me at all times, hell it is usually in my hand! I cant imagine a time when people did not have cell phones. It boggles me that people communicated and got around in life without being able to contact others or be contacted themselves at any moment.
The topic of cell phones though actually got started over the weekend when a friend was telling me that her parents were comparing the dating world today from during the time they dated just by the use of the cell phone (BY THE WAY... if you haven't already noticed many of my blog topics come from conversations that I have already had, I just feel like there are some that I need to share with everyone else.)
This is what I learned from the conversation (or assumed because of the conversation):
First off, when they exchanged phone numbers they literally had to write them down on a piece of paper, on thier hand/arm, or memorize them. There was no handy, dandy device readily available to type the number in and then have it saved for when we wanted to contact them/be contacted. So does this mean people carried pens and paper on them for when they met someone? Because I lose pens all the time. Just sayin...
Second off, they literally had to wait to hear from the person. Nowadays, if we give out our phone number and dont hear from the person in a day, hell even that same night, we are annoyed and automatically assume we will not hear from them at all because they didn't have the courage to contact us right away. But, there was no "right away" you had to wait until you either got home, or the other person got home, to hear from them.I guess people had more patience back then?? I couldn't handle it, I don't have patience. Ask my mom, she knows.
Third off , if they said they were coming to pick you up, you literally had to bank on the fact that they were coming and would not be late. There were no cell phones to call and give a heads up that they might be running late due to traffic or a flat tire, or that they got lost getting to your place. Also, once they were at your place to pick you up, there was no phone call or text from the car saying they were right outside. People actually had to get out of thier cars, ring the doorbell, and pick the person up at the door. I guess this is where the general dating gestures and mannersims go out the door these days - and to think we complain that men aren't "gentlemen" to us. It is because apparently cell phones make people lazy!!
Fourth off, there was no ability to constantly talk to that other person. These days, even when we are on vacation and getting away from the world there is always that cell phone laying by us in case someone wants to call or contact us via text (because like I have said before, calling has gone out the window but IT'S OKAY) We are always on our phone, having conversations via text. But what about back in the day when people actually did call? And if you were not home, left a message. And if you were not too busy, then you got a hold of them. And this went on for a cycle until you actually conversed on the phone to make plans. And if we dont hear from people right away these days, lordy the world has ended. We are sitting on our phones opening it every 10 minutes to see if that person has texted us back to (most of the time) find out nope, they have not. And then we get our hopes up.
But in all seriousness... besides just the dating world, we are too caught up in being readily accesible at all times of the day. It is sad to think that if we dont hear from someone within an hour something is wrong with them or something bad happend. But people really did used to live that way and it is something we are just not used to!
It is cool, even after this blog I will still have my cell phone on me at all times. So feel free to text me all you want - I will most likely answer.
I admit it. I am addicted to my cell phone. It goes everywhere with me, it is on me at all times, hell it is usually in my hand! I cant imagine a time when people did not have cell phones. It boggles me that people communicated and got around in life without being able to contact others or be contacted themselves at any moment.
The topic of cell phones though actually got started over the weekend when a friend was telling me that her parents were comparing the dating world today from during the time they dated just by the use of the cell phone (BY THE WAY... if you haven't already noticed many of my blog topics come from conversations that I have already had, I just feel like there are some that I need to share with everyone else.)
This is what I learned from the conversation (or assumed because of the conversation):
First off, when they exchanged phone numbers they literally had to write them down on a piece of paper, on thier hand/arm, or memorize them. There was no handy, dandy device readily available to type the number in and then have it saved for when we wanted to contact them/be contacted. So does this mean people carried pens and paper on them for when they met someone? Because I lose pens all the time. Just sayin...
Second off, they literally had to wait to hear from the person. Nowadays, if we give out our phone number and dont hear from the person in a day, hell even that same night, we are annoyed and automatically assume we will not hear from them at all because they didn't have the courage to contact us right away. But, there was no "right away" you had to wait until you either got home, or the other person got home, to hear from them.I guess people had more patience back then?? I couldn't handle it, I don't have patience. Ask my mom, she knows.
Third off , if they said they were coming to pick you up, you literally had to bank on the fact that they were coming and would not be late. There were no cell phones to call and give a heads up that they might be running late due to traffic or a flat tire, or that they got lost getting to your place. Also, once they were at your place to pick you up, there was no phone call or text from the car saying they were right outside. People actually had to get out of thier cars, ring the doorbell, and pick the person up at the door. I guess this is where the general dating gestures and mannersims go out the door these days - and to think we complain that men aren't "gentlemen" to us. It is because apparently cell phones make people lazy!!
Fourth off, there was no ability to constantly talk to that other person. These days, even when we are on vacation and getting away from the world there is always that cell phone laying by us in case someone wants to call or contact us via text (because like I have said before, calling has gone out the window but IT'S OKAY) We are always on our phone, having conversations via text. But what about back in the day when people actually did call? And if you were not home, left a message. And if you were not too busy, then you got a hold of them. And this went on for a cycle until you actually conversed on the phone to make plans. And if we dont hear from people right away these days, lordy the world has ended. We are sitting on our phones opening it every 10 minutes to see if that person has texted us back to (most of the time) find out nope, they have not. And then we get our hopes up.
But in all seriousness... besides just the dating world, we are too caught up in being readily accesible at all times of the day. It is sad to think that if we dont hear from someone within an hour something is wrong with them or something bad happend. But people really did used to live that way and it is something we are just not used to!
It is cool, even after this blog I will still have my cell phone on me at all times. So feel free to text me all you want - I will most likely answer.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Debate: Does Dating = Being Exclusive?
For this blog I am going to go back and forth between the debate of whether you are considered "exclusive" if you are dating someone.
First off, let us define dating.
According to Wikipedia - Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
The Free Dictionary by Farlex offers two definitions -
First off, let us define dating.
According to Wikipedia - Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
The Free Dictionary by Farlex offers two definitions -
a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
b. One's companion on such an outing (not necessarily out of romantic interest)
Urban dictionary has many different ones, a few of my favorites -
a. Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.
b. A pointless waste of time... defined by massive usage of cologne and/or perfume, awkward sweaty hand-holding, and feelings of puppy love that usually dissolve in a few weeks (or less)
c. a socially acceptable form of prostitution (I personally think the example they had with this one was hilarious, I just had to share this - I spent a $30 for a movie, before the first base. A $50 for lunch, for the second base, and a $70 on a romantic dinner before we cut to the chase.) Oh Urban Dictionary, you get me everytime with your insane definitions!
Okay so we have (kind of) defined what dating is. Now let's go to the next step of the debate: stating both sides of the case.
Side 1: You are exclusive. You have been a couple of dates with this person, maybe things are going great. Even though you havent talked about a "title" yet, there is that underlying belief that neither of you are allowed to date anyone else at the moment.
Side 2: You are not exclusive, there has been no talk of a title as to being boyfriend/girlfiend so you have free reign to go on a date with anyone you choose to.
Now, DEBATE (and yes, this actual conversation may have recently occured between me and a friend.)
"We have only been on a few dates over the course of the last couple weeks, and we are by no means serious. I have free reign to do whatever I want still right now."
"So, does that mean you would be okay with him/her going on a date with someone else right now?"
"Well, no. If I found that out I would straight up end things right now."
"So then you are exclusive."
"Well, yea, I guess so... I dont know. If someone else came along and wanted to take me out to dinner, well why not? Technically I am still still single, and I am still feeling this person out."
"So then you are exclusive."
"Well, yea, I guess so... I dont know. If someone else came along and wanted to take me out to dinner, well why not? Technically I am still still single, and I am still feeling this person out."
"But you are not okay with the other person doing what they want."
"What I am saying is, we are not serious."
"But what is considered serious? Do you talk to this person everyday?"
"Yes, pretty much."
"How often do you see this person?"
"Averaging every other day right now..."
"Have you been interested in anyone else specifically?"
"No"
"Then you are exclusive!"
"But I dont consider them my boyfriend/girlfriend!"
"No, you dont. But you are past the 3 weeks, I have only been on a couple dates mark. You have even secured the relationship by bringing said person back to your place!"
"No, you dont. But you are past the 3 weeks, I have only been on a couple dates mark. You have even secured the relationship by bringing said person back to your place!"
"Now, now... I may have brought this person back to my place, but that doesnt mean we are serious! Maybe we were just having some fun..."
"Okay. You are right. But, if this person blew you off one night and you were pissed, out of retaliation would you go out in search of a new person?"
"No, I mean I wouldn't not talk to someone but I wouldnt go farther than talking and possibly dancing.."
"So you wouldnt even consider someone else"
"Not necessarily... I mean, I woudlnt consider it cheating if I hooked up with another person. We arent together"
"But that is not what I am asking - would you feel bad if you did? Would you tell the person you are dating about it?"
"Hell no, if I hooked up with someone I would not tell them. But I wouldnt just go and hook up with someone right now... I have no intentions to."
"So then basically what you are saying is you are not exclusive, but your innate feelings are saying yes I am exclusive and so you wouldnt do anything"
"Ah I guess so? I dont know I am confused!"
So what did we determine? Well, for one everyone has thier own definition of dating and seriousness and when they are considered exclusive. Some people think they have free reign until the title is there, some people are okay with sticking to one person until things are figured out. BUT.... even if you consider yourself "free and single" some of you still have that exclusive feeling to where you wouldn't consider going on a date with someone else, even if the option was there, and would not want the other person going on a date with someone else either.
So the answer to the debate: If you are well within the dating realm, it has been a few weeks and things are progressing, you are exclusive. If you do not hear from this person regularly, rarely see them, and dont know where things are going - Oh definitely not exclusive and free to do what you want!
Anyone else have opinions on this topic?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Well People... I am Not in College Anymore!
It has finally hit me. I no longer am that young, college kid anymore. Oh I know it has been almost 2 years since I have graduated from the great University of Illinois - but for a while I still felt like I could do it. I could live, party, eat like a college student and get by working that 8-5 job during the week.
Well I can't and reality is starting to hit me in the face that I may be becoming AN ADULT (yes everyone gasp with me). Here are a few examples as to how I figured this out over the last 2 years:
Recovery Period
The time between partying and resting has gotten bigger. I feel like I need more days to get over the weekend festivities. When I was in college, my recoup period was less than a day. Give me a few hours and I would be right back on track. However, now when Monday comes around I am wishing that I had another day to the weekend. This isnt college anymore where I could sleep in, take naps during the day, skip class if I felt I didnt need to go and get some more rest... this is real life! AND when it is the weekend, my body is so used to waking up early during the week that I rarely sleep in like the old days - I am up at the crack of dawn trying to figure out what I am going to do with my day. Oh the days of naps... how I long for thee.
Money, money, money
In collge I was poor, but could afford to go out every night because the drink specials were ridiculous - 75 cent shots, $5 pitchers, $2 well drinks - it was amazing. Sometimes all you needed was a $20 bill and you were good for a few days! But it isnt even about the now-more-expensive $12 pitchers that we buy, but its life in general! Our apartments (at least at U of I) come furnished so there was never no need to buy furniture - who knew lamps and dressers could be so expensive?? Not only that, but lets kick in all the bills that come with being an adult. Phone bill, car payment, car insurance, rent and utlities, credit card, and the oh-so-hated student loans. College may have been some of the best 4 years of my life, but that is one expensive piece of paper that I purchased to get a job in this world. Oh well, 15 years from now I guess it will be worth it when I am done paying all that off... Who knew being an adult came with the constant writing of checks... note to those who will be looking to buy me a birthday present my check stash is getting pretty low! (and no I am not asking for you to write me a check, I literally will be looking for books of checks, I am down to about 1 book left and will be needing more. I love sports, outdoors, and girlie themes fyi.)
Jobs
This area is scary for anyone, but those of us just getting out of college and not truly knowing where we will end up with our degree are just plain freaked out. I mean not only is the job market so intensely competitive, but even knowing where to look for a job is stressful enough. And throw in health insurance? 401(k)!? BENEFITS!? None of these even existed when I was bartending at Fubar - I was just excited when I went home with straight up cash money from the night. Now I have to worry about putting money into savings for (another gasp) when I want to settle down and start a family, even protect myself in the future. Once you land a job though, the stress (somewhat) disappears - now you just have to keep that job especially in a market where layoffs are more common these days. If only there was someone on graduation day as we walked out with our diplomas giving us a guidebook on exactly what job we will hold, have all the forms filled out, and basically our life planned out for us... oh that would be sweet.
Food
I am an adult, and I am on my own. So this means eating like an adult. Going to the store, I tend to go for more fruits and veggies lately, and even catch myself buying more ingredients to make new dishes. As I am buying weekly, I realize that wow I sure dont eat out as much as I used to in college. There are no late night burger runs, 2am pizza deliveries because we have the drunk munchies, not even any afternoon McDonalds runs because I am hungover and that is all I am craving. I cant even tell you the last time I had "fast food" (side not - fast food I consider Burger King, McDonalds, Wendys... anything that has a drive thru and you dont need to get out of your car to consume a vast amount of food) I have taken to making my own food these days and this is one thing I have been quite enjoying. Yay for food!
Independence
We all admit to it, before we made any decisions about anything we always ran them by our parents to make sure we are going down the right path. Not even just that, but we always had our parents there to lean back on if we needed it. Random grocery store and Target runs while they visited us in college, home cooked meals when we went home on the weekends and holidays, bills that were paid for when we were home for the summer (because we did not have rent or utilities to cover). Ah the joys of going off for 9 months and being on our own, but then going back home to be taken care of. But what about when you realize that you arent that "I think I am an adult but still have my parents make my decisions for me" college kid anymoer and literally are now making your own decisions? For me, it was a transition that I got used to being so far away from home and literally having to decide everything myself out here in Colorado. But wow, I will say it is one intense feeling when you realized that you did it all on your own - independence baby!! That will send you into adulthood and out of college in no time!
Dating
Yes, I just had to throw something in here about this scene. Because well, its a topic that me and the girls love to talk about! But for this one it has more to do with figuring out the taken type from the single type. In college it was easy - if someone was taken they (usually) said something to you or you knew the person they were with. However, now that we arent surrounded by just 20-somethings we actually have to pay attention to the RING FINGER. The finger that says "hey, I got married and love my partner" kind of thing. It is a slap of reality when you realize that the first thing you notice on someone when you first meet them is "do they have a ring?" At least, I seem to notice I have been doing that more often.....
Now dont get me wrong, I am not complaining about not being in college anymore. I sure dont miss late night studying sessions, papers that were horrible to write, homework that just seemed to never end. And to be honest, there is nothing more satisfying than when you actually feel like an adult, like you have moved on in the world far from the ol' college days where we were young, naiive, immature, and just flatout broke.
But there are some things that I wish would carry over into the adulthood - all I am asking is that siestas in the afternoon should be a part of our work schedule.
Well I can't and reality is starting to hit me in the face that I may be becoming AN ADULT (yes everyone gasp with me). Here are a few examples as to how I figured this out over the last 2 years:
Recovery Period
The time between partying and resting has gotten bigger. I feel like I need more days to get over the weekend festivities. When I was in college, my recoup period was less than a day. Give me a few hours and I would be right back on track. However, now when Monday comes around I am wishing that I had another day to the weekend. This isnt college anymore where I could sleep in, take naps during the day, skip class if I felt I didnt need to go and get some more rest... this is real life! AND when it is the weekend, my body is so used to waking up early during the week that I rarely sleep in like the old days - I am up at the crack of dawn trying to figure out what I am going to do with my day. Oh the days of naps... how I long for thee.
Money, money, money
In collge I was poor, but could afford to go out every night because the drink specials were ridiculous - 75 cent shots, $5 pitchers, $2 well drinks - it was amazing. Sometimes all you needed was a $20 bill and you were good for a few days! But it isnt even about the now-more-expensive $12 pitchers that we buy, but its life in general! Our apartments (at least at U of I) come furnished so there was never no need to buy furniture - who knew lamps and dressers could be so expensive?? Not only that, but lets kick in all the bills that come with being an adult. Phone bill, car payment, car insurance, rent and utlities, credit card, and the oh-so-hated student loans. College may have been some of the best 4 years of my life, but that is one expensive piece of paper that I purchased to get a job in this world. Oh well, 15 years from now I guess it will be worth it when I am done paying all that off... Who knew being an adult came with the constant writing of checks... note to those who will be looking to buy me a birthday present my check stash is getting pretty low! (and no I am not asking for you to write me a check, I literally will be looking for books of checks, I am down to about 1 book left and will be needing more. I love sports, outdoors, and girlie themes fyi.)
Jobs
This area is scary for anyone, but those of us just getting out of college and not truly knowing where we will end up with our degree are just plain freaked out. I mean not only is the job market so intensely competitive, but even knowing where to look for a job is stressful enough. And throw in health insurance? 401(k)!? BENEFITS!? None of these even existed when I was bartending at Fubar - I was just excited when I went home with straight up cash money from the night. Now I have to worry about putting money into savings for (another gasp) when I want to settle down and start a family, even protect myself in the future. Once you land a job though, the stress (somewhat) disappears - now you just have to keep that job especially in a market where layoffs are more common these days. If only there was someone on graduation day as we walked out with our diplomas giving us a guidebook on exactly what job we will hold, have all the forms filled out, and basically our life planned out for us... oh that would be sweet.
Food
I am an adult, and I am on my own. So this means eating like an adult. Going to the store, I tend to go for more fruits and veggies lately, and even catch myself buying more ingredients to make new dishes. As I am buying weekly, I realize that wow I sure dont eat out as much as I used to in college. There are no late night burger runs, 2am pizza deliveries because we have the drunk munchies, not even any afternoon McDonalds runs because I am hungover and that is all I am craving. I cant even tell you the last time I had "fast food" (side not - fast food I consider Burger King, McDonalds, Wendys... anything that has a drive thru and you dont need to get out of your car to consume a vast amount of food) I have taken to making my own food these days and this is one thing I have been quite enjoying. Yay for food!
Independence
We all admit to it, before we made any decisions about anything we always ran them by our parents to make sure we are going down the right path. Not even just that, but we always had our parents there to lean back on if we needed it. Random grocery store and Target runs while they visited us in college, home cooked meals when we went home on the weekends and holidays, bills that were paid for when we were home for the summer (because we did not have rent or utilities to cover). Ah the joys of going off for 9 months and being on our own, but then going back home to be taken care of. But what about when you realize that you arent that "I think I am an adult but still have my parents make my decisions for me" college kid anymoer and literally are now making your own decisions? For me, it was a transition that I got used to being so far away from home and literally having to decide everything myself out here in Colorado. But wow, I will say it is one intense feeling when you realized that you did it all on your own - independence baby!! That will send you into adulthood and out of college in no time!
Dating
Yes, I just had to throw something in here about this scene. Because well, its a topic that me and the girls love to talk about! But for this one it has more to do with figuring out the taken type from the single type. In college it was easy - if someone was taken they (usually) said something to you or you knew the person they were with. However, now that we arent surrounded by just 20-somethings we actually have to pay attention to the RING FINGER. The finger that says "hey, I got married and love my partner" kind of thing. It is a slap of reality when you realize that the first thing you notice on someone when you first meet them is "do they have a ring?" At least, I seem to notice I have been doing that more often.....
Now dont get me wrong, I am not complaining about not being in college anymore. I sure dont miss late night studying sessions, papers that were horrible to write, homework that just seemed to never end. And to be honest, there is nothing more satisfying than when you actually feel like an adult, like you have moved on in the world far from the ol' college days where we were young, naiive, immature, and just flatout broke.
But there are some things that I wish would carry over into the adulthood - all I am asking is that siestas in the afternoon should be a part of our work schedule.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I am Awesome... Are You?
What am I about to say may not come as a shock to most, but for some it might come off cocky/stuck up/i-think-i-am-better-than-everyone-else but I want people to know that NO I am not in love with myself, I do not think I am better than anyone nor am I overconfident. But I want to say this:
I AM AWESOME!!!!
Yes, I said it. I am awesome. I rock the world, I am pretty cool. Enough said.
This is why I think I am awesome: Because I love life. And I also LIVE life to the fullest, enjoy it to the max, and have a smile on my face everyday even when I am not having the best day. I have FUN (enough said). I try to be friends with everyone, and live by the motto treat others as you want them to treat you. I cheer people up when they are down. I help people see the positive in things. I dont hold grudges and rarely get angry - if I am upset, it lasts an hour. Then I get over it. And the following photo sums it all up in a nutshell (courtesy of How I Met Your Mother)
Being AWESOME is not about how others think of you but how you think of yourself and also how you portray yourself. I do not want people to think I hate the world, but I also dont want people to think I am better than them. It is about finding that middle ground, that level to where you are modest enough to where you know you rock but you dont show it.
Yes, I create photos of myself being awesome. Maybe every once in a while I throw it out to people to let them know I am. But in all reality, I take it light heartidly and as a joke. But when I can sit and see nothing wrong with life right now - I have family that are alive and healthy back in Chicago that I love to death, I have some of the greatest friends on Earth because they not only get me and are just like me but they are there for me when I need them, I love my job, I laugh everyday and have as much fun as I can exploring and try new things that I have never done before, I have no problem meeting people and making new friends, i have a roof over my head and enough money to pay my bills and still have some fun - I think I have enough reason to just say it: sometimes I AM AWESOME.
I dont think people tell themselves enough that they are awesome. Think about how much better everyone's lives would be if you just told yourself "You know what, I rock" every once in a while. It's a personal confidence booster! Yes, everyone loves to hear it from everyone else but really what YOU think about yourself is all that matters. Because you are the only one that lives your life.
Whenever I finish something that is super hard that I never thought I could do - run a 5k, do a CrossFit bootcamp, doing the incline - I tell myself "Congrats Meg, you are awesome for finishing that. But you are awesome as well for even trying it, even if you never do it again." No one should sit and say "I cant do it" because that is just an excuse. You can do it, you just dont want to. But how are you going to be awesome in life if you just sit back and do nothing, waiting for things to come to you? Take action on your life! And maybe you can get that feeling that I have in the picture below of accomplishment and success of doing something you didnt think you could do:
Anything you accomplish or do in life, you are awesome for being YOU. For being yourself and for just being alive. So I may think I myself as awesome, but I hope everyone else thinks they themselves are awesome as well. Because I know everyone in my life is pretty awesome :)
So tell yourself today "I rock. I am awesome" and let me know how that feels. I bet it makes your day a tad better!
I AM AWESOME!!!!
Yes, I said it. I am awesome. I rock the world, I am pretty cool. Enough said.
This is why I think I am awesome: Because I love life. And I also LIVE life to the fullest, enjoy it to the max, and have a smile on my face everyday even when I am not having the best day. I have FUN (enough said). I try to be friends with everyone, and live by the motto treat others as you want them to treat you. I cheer people up when they are down. I help people see the positive in things. I dont hold grudges and rarely get angry - if I am upset, it lasts an hour. Then I get over it. And the following photo sums it all up in a nutshell (courtesy of How I Met Your Mother)
Being AWESOME is not about how others think of you but how you think of yourself and also how you portray yourself. I do not want people to think I hate the world, but I also dont want people to think I am better than them. It is about finding that middle ground, that level to where you are modest enough to where you know you rock but you dont show it.
Yes, I create photos of myself being awesome. Maybe every once in a while I throw it out to people to let them know I am. But in all reality, I take it light heartidly and as a joke. But when I can sit and see nothing wrong with life right now - I have family that are alive and healthy back in Chicago that I love to death, I have some of the greatest friends on Earth because they not only get me and are just like me but they are there for me when I need them, I love my job, I laugh everyday and have as much fun as I can exploring and try new things that I have never done before, I have no problem meeting people and making new friends, i have a roof over my head and enough money to pay my bills and still have some fun - I think I have enough reason to just say it: sometimes I AM AWESOME.
I dont think people tell themselves enough that they are awesome. Think about how much better everyone's lives would be if you just told yourself "You know what, I rock" every once in a while. It's a personal confidence booster! Yes, everyone loves to hear it from everyone else but really what YOU think about yourself is all that matters. Because you are the only one that lives your life.
Whenever I finish something that is super hard that I never thought I could do - run a 5k, do a CrossFit bootcamp, doing the incline - I tell myself "Congrats Meg, you are awesome for finishing that. But you are awesome as well for even trying it, even if you never do it again." No one should sit and say "I cant do it" because that is just an excuse. You can do it, you just dont want to. But how are you going to be awesome in life if you just sit back and do nothing, waiting for things to come to you? Take action on your life! And maybe you can get that feeling that I have in the picture below of accomplishment and success of doing something you didnt think you could do:
Anything you accomplish or do in life, you are awesome for being YOU. For being yourself and for just being alive. So I may think I myself as awesome, but I hope everyone else thinks they themselves are awesome as well. Because I know everyone in my life is pretty awesome :)
So tell yourself today "I rock. I am awesome" and let me know how that feels. I bet it makes your day a tad better!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Awkward Encounters
Yes I know it has been a while since I have blogged. Well after a mini-vacation/hiatus/hibernation - whatever you want to call it - I am coming back and going to attempt to keep up on this blogging habit. I will admit, it is harder to remember than I thought it would be...
Okay... so Awkward Encounters. These two little words can pretty much sum up my life in a nutshell. I feel like my whole life is an awkward encounter. But everyone has experienced a few where literally these moments come upon you when you least expect it and you dont know what to do with yourself. How do I react? What do I say? What do I do!?
There are so many awkward encounters in my life that there is no way I could go through all of them (I believe a friend of mine as jokingly put the count at around 1,459 but in reality she might not even be kidding) so I am going to categorize some of the different encounters one can come upon - and I can almost guarantee I have been through them all!
The "I cant Remember Their Name But They Look Familiar/They Remember Me" Encounter
We ALL have been here before (and if you havent, well you are either living under a rock or you just have one hell of a memory) whether it was passing someone on the street, walking to class, out to eat, grocery shopping. You and this person catch each others eye, maybe walk right by each other, and you can see the light bulb go off and CRAP what's thier name?? So you go through the entire "Hey, hows it going?" conversation figuring out all the ways to talk to them without having to say their name. I cant tell you how many times I would walk the quad at U of I and get shoutouts "Hey Meg, how's it going?" and I couldnt tell you their first name or anything about them (I must sidenote here that I was a bartender AND an extremely social person when I went out so I met an exuberant amount of new people on a regular basis) But what happens when they start conversing about how great it would be to get together and catch up, but you STILL cant figure out what thier name is or its on the tip of your tongue - so now not only do you have to carry a conversation by never saying thier name but trying to ask questions and get information out of them to know who they are. Most awkward moment? When this happens and you are with someone, and the introductions have to happen - and then its completely obvious you dont know thier name because you are stumbling and start getting red from embarrassment. OR when you say a name it is totally not their name... and then you have to play it off like you had a brain fart/that persons name was just on the top of your head and you didnt mean to say that.... yea this section has way too many different awkward scenarios that can happen.
The "First Date" Encounter
So you meet a guy/girl one night, things hit off pretty well and phone numbers are exchanged. A couple days later you are texting (because no one calls each other anymore and THATS OKAY "insert extreme hand gestures here") and decide to meet up for dinner and/or a couple drinks. This is where the whole first date awkwardness comes into play. And all of you know, most of the time the first date is ALWAYS awkward. You really dont know this person that you are meeting up with and so now everything is about first impressions. What should I wear? What if I overdress/underdress (this could make the situation awkward in general showing up in the wrong clothes!) Do they pick me up? Do I just meet them at the place? After all this is figured out, you eventually go on the date. Now here is the big question - how do you greet each other? Do you shake thier hand? Hug them? Rub their shoulder and say it is good to see you again? (Yes, I have done this. Please openly judge away) So now you sit down and the first few moments are always rough, trying to get the so how did your day go, hows your week been, whats new comments out. From there on out hings start going great, conversation is steady until finally it is the end of the night and it is time to leave. NOW what do you do now? This is an awkward moment because you dont really know exactly what the other person is thinking yet. You may think that the date is going great, but what if he/she isnt feeling it? As you are walking out the door, mind racing about how this goodbye is going to go, do you 1. Stick the fist out and pound them goodbye (yes, I have done this. Keep openly judging) 2. Give them a hug 3. Shake their hand or, the big one, 4. Go in for the kill aka the kiss. This is a horrible feeling because you literally are trying to figure out what to do before anything happens, and sometimes if you are thinking too much you end up awkwardly doing something else that you didnt want to do (like half hug/half kiss on the cheek!?). Sometimes, as a good friend of mine put it, you should just take the bull by its horns and take charge of the situation.... but what if that also puts you in an awkward spot? What if he/she isnt feeling what you are? Once the goodbyes are exchanged, you usually run to your car/run up your stairs to your door and just get home as fast as you can so the first date blunders can just go away.
The "We Went on a Couple Dates and Then You Never Called Me Back Afterwards But Then I Saw You Out" Encounter
I dont know about any of you, but I feel like this one can be SUPER awkward. You are having a good time, going about your business when you turn around or go to walk to the bar and BAM you run right into this person. And you were hoping not to see them because you are still getting over the fact that they never called you back and why they didnt call you back. So now its the awkward "Oh hey, hows it going?" and the small chit chat about how you have been since you last saw each other - then you wonder do you ask what they have been up to? Or better yet, if you have had a few adult beverages in ya, take the risk of asking why you havent heard from them? THIS IS NOT A GOOD SITUATION PEOPLE! It usually makes the other person super uncomfortable, and not even consider calling you ever again. Once this happens, the excuse of having to be somewhere, or just saying "well good seeing ya" (when you really know it was NOT good seeing them) comes out and then you end up walking away as fast as you can. And then for the rest of the night you still wonder why he never called you back/what you did wrong...
The "I Just Literally Ran Into the CEO And Did Not Know What to do" Encounter
I believe this only happens to me and my very awesome, but also just as awkward, friends. You are getting into the elevator and all of a sudden you see the BIG GUY, the CEO of the company you work for, get into the elevator with you. What do you say? He obviously doesnt know you and therefore what do you say? And if he makes you uncomfortable because you consider him such a big shot, you dont want to talk because you wont know waht comes out of your mouth! Or you get so tongue-tied when you are around them that you literally cant believe that just came out of your mouth like "Wel hellloooooooo there" (in a not so normal voice because you thought they were someone else" or the cases where you make absolutely no sense becase your mind stopped working. Yes I would say this one happens to me more often than any other encounter in this blog - I get so nervous that it makes me awkward!!!!
The "You Run Into Somone/Old Friend That You Havent Called to Hang out With in a While" Encounter
Besides the previous encounter where the other person did not call you, this reason is because you have not called them. And you want to be nice and not say why you havent called them because well, there is no real nice way to say "Crap, I have forgotten about you!" Sometimes it isnt even intentional that you havent called them - life gets in the way and you just are overwhelmed with what you are doing already. But it sucks when you see this person and in your head you are going "omg, I havent called them in a while and they texted me last week to hang out and I blew them off... oh no!" So now you are stuck trying to not sound like you are making excuses as to why they havent heard from you/why you havent invited them out but in reality they are excuses. So do you make those excuses or just be honest and say "hey, I have forgotten about you I am so sorry" because I dont know what I would rather hear myself as well. At this point you usually take a mental note to call them next time and make plans so that this doenst happen again!
The "You Run Into An Old Friend You Had A Fall-Out With/No Longer Want to Hang Out With" Encounter
This one is probably the most rare one, where it doesnt happen as often as you think but there are those times that it does happen. There is that one person that you had a huge fight with, stopped being friends with and havent seen in years. Then one day you bump into each other at the grocery store and you want to be nice and just say hi, but there is a reason why you dont talk anymore. Or, the friend that you realized is no longer a good friend or a good person and you just dont want to have any association with them anymore. You bump into them one night and crap they found you. This is where its tricky - you obviouslty want no contact with these people because you dont want them back in your life. Do you avoid them all together, and be the bitch to just walk right by them and not say hi? Do you leave where you are at right away and dont look back? Or are you the better person and say hi, but make an excuse about needing to be somewhere and get out before having to catch up? Yea it's never a good thing.
The "You Just Saw Your Boss/Co-Worker But You Dont Want Them To See You" Encounter
We all have those nights where we arent "the best" We might have had too many to drink, maybe we are somewhere we arent supposed to be - anyway, you look over and you see someone you work with. Maybe you tried getting out of work early to get the early bird happy hour deals, and hoped no one would catch you. Or, you used all your vacation days and so used one of your "sick days" to not come in the office (and played off sick) but were really healthy and just wanted to do your own thing for the day. Either way, whether you are roaming that mall shopping on a Wednesday afternoon or you are well on your way of making it an interesting night, you see your co-worker looking at you and judging. Openly judging, and you dont want to know if they are going to go back and say something to the wrong person and get you in trouble.
AS A SIDE NOTE ON THIS ENCOUNTER: I dont have this happen to me personally because 1. I actually do hang out with my co-workers and love hanging out with them 2. Dont get vacation/sick days so I take off only when I legit am sick because otherwise I dont get paid and 3. If I do leave early, I clock out early. So no calling me out about "not working and still being paid" excuse. BOOM. But this does happen to people, and you know they always need to hide under the table or run to the bathroom/out the door and somewehre far far away from these bosses and coworkers. I am quite thankful this doesnt happen to me...
So this is all I can come up with right now... am I missing any other "awkward encounters" that I should know about/I possibly havent had to endure yet?
Okay... so Awkward Encounters. These two little words can pretty much sum up my life in a nutshell. I feel like my whole life is an awkward encounter. But everyone has experienced a few where literally these moments come upon you when you least expect it and you dont know what to do with yourself. How do I react? What do I say? What do I do!?
There are so many awkward encounters in my life that there is no way I could go through all of them (I believe a friend of mine as jokingly put the count at around 1,459 but in reality she might not even be kidding) so I am going to categorize some of the different encounters one can come upon - and I can almost guarantee I have been through them all!
The "I cant Remember Their Name But They Look Familiar/They Remember Me" Encounter
We ALL have been here before (and if you havent, well you are either living under a rock or you just have one hell of a memory) whether it was passing someone on the street, walking to class, out to eat, grocery shopping. You and this person catch each others eye, maybe walk right by each other, and you can see the light bulb go off and CRAP what's thier name?? So you go through the entire "Hey, hows it going?" conversation figuring out all the ways to talk to them without having to say their name. I cant tell you how many times I would walk the quad at U of I and get shoutouts "Hey Meg, how's it going?" and I couldnt tell you their first name or anything about them (I must sidenote here that I was a bartender AND an extremely social person when I went out so I met an exuberant amount of new people on a regular basis) But what happens when they start conversing about how great it would be to get together and catch up, but you STILL cant figure out what thier name is or its on the tip of your tongue - so now not only do you have to carry a conversation by never saying thier name but trying to ask questions and get information out of them to know who they are. Most awkward moment? When this happens and you are with someone, and the introductions have to happen - and then its completely obvious you dont know thier name because you are stumbling and start getting red from embarrassment. OR when you say a name it is totally not their name... and then you have to play it off like you had a brain fart/that persons name was just on the top of your head and you didnt mean to say that.... yea this section has way too many different awkward scenarios that can happen.
The "First Date" Encounter
So you meet a guy/girl one night, things hit off pretty well and phone numbers are exchanged. A couple days later you are texting (because no one calls each other anymore and THATS OKAY "insert extreme hand gestures here") and decide to meet up for dinner and/or a couple drinks. This is where the whole first date awkwardness comes into play. And all of you know, most of the time the first date is ALWAYS awkward. You really dont know this person that you are meeting up with and so now everything is about first impressions. What should I wear? What if I overdress/underdress (this could make the situation awkward in general showing up in the wrong clothes!) Do they pick me up? Do I just meet them at the place? After all this is figured out, you eventually go on the date. Now here is the big question - how do you greet each other? Do you shake thier hand? Hug them? Rub their shoulder and say it is good to see you again? (Yes, I have done this. Please openly judge away) So now you sit down and the first few moments are always rough, trying to get the so how did your day go, hows your week been, whats new comments out. From there on out hings start going great, conversation is steady until finally it is the end of the night and it is time to leave. NOW what do you do now? This is an awkward moment because you dont really know exactly what the other person is thinking yet. You may think that the date is going great, but what if he/she isnt feeling it? As you are walking out the door, mind racing about how this goodbye is going to go, do you 1. Stick the fist out and pound them goodbye (yes, I have done this. Keep openly judging) 2. Give them a hug 3. Shake their hand or, the big one, 4. Go in for the kill aka the kiss. This is a horrible feeling because you literally are trying to figure out what to do before anything happens, and sometimes if you are thinking too much you end up awkwardly doing something else that you didnt want to do (like half hug/half kiss on the cheek!?). Sometimes, as a good friend of mine put it, you should just take the bull by its horns and take charge of the situation.... but what if that also puts you in an awkward spot? What if he/she isnt feeling what you are? Once the goodbyes are exchanged, you usually run to your car/run up your stairs to your door and just get home as fast as you can so the first date blunders can just go away.
The "We Went on a Couple Dates and Then You Never Called Me Back Afterwards But Then I Saw You Out" Encounter
I dont know about any of you, but I feel like this one can be SUPER awkward. You are having a good time, going about your business when you turn around or go to walk to the bar and BAM you run right into this person. And you were hoping not to see them because you are still getting over the fact that they never called you back and why they didnt call you back. So now its the awkward "Oh hey, hows it going?" and the small chit chat about how you have been since you last saw each other - then you wonder do you ask what they have been up to? Or better yet, if you have had a few adult beverages in ya, take the risk of asking why you havent heard from them? THIS IS NOT A GOOD SITUATION PEOPLE! It usually makes the other person super uncomfortable, and not even consider calling you ever again. Once this happens, the excuse of having to be somewhere, or just saying "well good seeing ya" (when you really know it was NOT good seeing them) comes out and then you end up walking away as fast as you can. And then for the rest of the night you still wonder why he never called you back/what you did wrong...
The "I Just Literally Ran Into the CEO And Did Not Know What to do" Encounter
I believe this only happens to me and my very awesome, but also just as awkward, friends. You are getting into the elevator and all of a sudden you see the BIG GUY, the CEO of the company you work for, get into the elevator with you. What do you say? He obviously doesnt know you and therefore what do you say? And if he makes you uncomfortable because you consider him such a big shot, you dont want to talk because you wont know waht comes out of your mouth! Or you get so tongue-tied when you are around them that you literally cant believe that just came out of your mouth like "Wel hellloooooooo there" (in a not so normal voice because you thought they were someone else" or the cases where you make absolutely no sense becase your mind stopped working. Yes I would say this one happens to me more often than any other encounter in this blog - I get so nervous that it makes me awkward!!!!
The "You Run Into Somone/Old Friend That You Havent Called to Hang out With in a While" Encounter
Besides the previous encounter where the other person did not call you, this reason is because you have not called them. And you want to be nice and not say why you havent called them because well, there is no real nice way to say "Crap, I have forgotten about you!" Sometimes it isnt even intentional that you havent called them - life gets in the way and you just are overwhelmed with what you are doing already. But it sucks when you see this person and in your head you are going "omg, I havent called them in a while and they texted me last week to hang out and I blew them off... oh no!" So now you are stuck trying to not sound like you are making excuses as to why they havent heard from you/why you havent invited them out but in reality they are excuses. So do you make those excuses or just be honest and say "hey, I have forgotten about you I am so sorry" because I dont know what I would rather hear myself as well. At this point you usually take a mental note to call them next time and make plans so that this doenst happen again!
The "You Run Into An Old Friend You Had A Fall-Out With/No Longer Want to Hang Out With" Encounter
This one is probably the most rare one, where it doesnt happen as often as you think but there are those times that it does happen. There is that one person that you had a huge fight with, stopped being friends with and havent seen in years. Then one day you bump into each other at the grocery store and you want to be nice and just say hi, but there is a reason why you dont talk anymore. Or, the friend that you realized is no longer a good friend or a good person and you just dont want to have any association with them anymore. You bump into them one night and crap they found you. This is where its tricky - you obviouslty want no contact with these people because you dont want them back in your life. Do you avoid them all together, and be the bitch to just walk right by them and not say hi? Do you leave where you are at right away and dont look back? Or are you the better person and say hi, but make an excuse about needing to be somewhere and get out before having to catch up? Yea it's never a good thing.
The "You Just Saw Your Boss/Co-Worker But You Dont Want Them To See You" Encounter
We all have those nights where we arent "the best" We might have had too many to drink, maybe we are somewhere we arent supposed to be - anyway, you look over and you see someone you work with. Maybe you tried getting out of work early to get the early bird happy hour deals, and hoped no one would catch you. Or, you used all your vacation days and so used one of your "sick days" to not come in the office (and played off sick) but were really healthy and just wanted to do your own thing for the day. Either way, whether you are roaming that mall shopping on a Wednesday afternoon or you are well on your way of making it an interesting night, you see your co-worker looking at you and judging. Openly judging, and you dont want to know if they are going to go back and say something to the wrong person and get you in trouble.
AS A SIDE NOTE ON THIS ENCOUNTER: I dont have this happen to me personally because 1. I actually do hang out with my co-workers and love hanging out with them 2. Dont get vacation/sick days so I take off only when I legit am sick because otherwise I dont get paid and 3. If I do leave early, I clock out early. So no calling me out about "not working and still being paid" excuse. BOOM. But this does happen to people, and you know they always need to hide under the table or run to the bathroom/out the door and somewehre far far away from these bosses and coworkers. I am quite thankful this doesnt happen to me...
So this is all I can come up with right now... am I missing any other "awkward encounters" that I should know about/I possibly havent had to endure yet?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Apparent "Solutions" For When You Are In A Rut
For those who want some good reading and/or to see where this blog topic actually came from:
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10287&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730920
Your phone has been silent. No guy approaches you to talk to you. You realize that the only people you converse with are the same sex as you. And the last person you had any type of relations with is now in a serious relationship, with you sitting on the sidelines. Dating Rut. Many of us have been there, more so than others. We have times that when it rains, it pours - and then there are the times when you are in a drought and are just hoping that the next semi-cute guy takes interest in you so you can have someone, anyone, to text and not feel so alone.
After discussing and comparing the ruts that we are in, a friend of mine sent me the article above that describes the different ruts you can be in and how to solve the problems. Well, seeing as this is from match.com and I cant necesarrily relate to it all I am still going to give my own take on these so called solutions and why I think it is easier to say than do:
1. There are no instant sparks - solution: bring out the friend filter.
This part of the article says that when on a first date with someone, dont just brush them aside if you dont feel anything with them right away - that love at first sight doesnt always happen, and to consider them friends and hope that sparks fly later down the line. This is how I feel about this: obviously there were SOME sort of instant sparks to even be on a date with someone. I am not just going to go on a date with the next chump that walks down the street, obviously I say yes because I am somewhat instantly attracted to them. I guess coming from someone who doesnt go out on many dates (and no dont be shocked by this, I have gotten used to it over time) and pretty much every guy that crosses my path turns into the "friend" (even if I dont want them to be just friends) I guess the friend filter is always out for me. What about those of us who dont know how to turn it off!? C'mon match.com, I need answers here!
2. Your date looks great on paper, but thats it - solution: base it on how you are feeling
Okay I am having a hard time relating to this particular one because most guys that are great on resume either 1. pay no attention this way whatsoever 2. is already dating one of my friends 3. has followed number one and went straight into the friend factor. So how do I feel? I feel like I am getting the raw end of the stick here people, how come the good ones are never interested in this?
3. You dont think this person has long term potential - solution: use the "carpe date-em trick"
Well I guess this only pertains to people who are looking for thier very serious mate. I may be looking to date someone, but am not looking to get married anytime soon. So there is no looking for someone with long term potential - just ANY potential for the matter!
4. You swear all the good ones are taken already - solution: look again, at people you usually pass over.
However this one is TOTALLY true. Maybe all the good ones arent "taken" but they definitely arent sending any interest over here and usually are eyeing some other chick. So what this article is telling me though, is that I should take another look around me? In Colorado Springs? I guess I will take this advice the next time I am at Cowboys or Gasoline Alley, the two best places to pick up men (please note the sarcasm in my tone of voice)I wont be so picky to turn down the toothless hick who is asking me to dance with him, he could me my next soulmate!
5. You feel down about yourself and not date worthy- solution: give youself a pre-date prep
Now this is one that we ALL do with our friends already. You know that your best friend is never going to say "you are right, you suck and dont deserve anyone" when you are sitting there complaining about the lack of relationships in your life. That would just be a bad friend. We are always going to say "you deserve the best, you are a great person and someone will like you for who you are" and MEAN IT. Because obviously we are your friends and love you, and are friends with you for a reason. Personally, I truly mean it when I tell my friends that because I only have amazing friends and want nohting but the best for them and to be happy.
So what did I learn from this article? Nothing. It had no solutions as to why I get in a rut, and truly more often than not. However I did realize that obviously I am not ready for the long-term serious committment that most people are looking for on match.com, and hence why I will not be joining that website or any other dating website anytime soon.
I will just hang on for the next guy to show any sorts of interst in me, and then see how long it takes for me to ruin things and become friends with them :)
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10287&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730920
Your phone has been silent. No guy approaches you to talk to you. You realize that the only people you converse with are the same sex as you. And the last person you had any type of relations with is now in a serious relationship, with you sitting on the sidelines. Dating Rut. Many of us have been there, more so than others. We have times that when it rains, it pours - and then there are the times when you are in a drought and are just hoping that the next semi-cute guy takes interest in you so you can have someone, anyone, to text and not feel so alone.
After discussing and comparing the ruts that we are in, a friend of mine sent me the article above that describes the different ruts you can be in and how to solve the problems. Well, seeing as this is from match.com and I cant necesarrily relate to it all I am still going to give my own take on these so called solutions and why I think it is easier to say than do:
1. There are no instant sparks - solution: bring out the friend filter.
This part of the article says that when on a first date with someone, dont just brush them aside if you dont feel anything with them right away - that love at first sight doesnt always happen, and to consider them friends and hope that sparks fly later down the line. This is how I feel about this: obviously there were SOME sort of instant sparks to even be on a date with someone. I am not just going to go on a date with the next chump that walks down the street, obviously I say yes because I am somewhat instantly attracted to them. I guess coming from someone who doesnt go out on many dates (and no dont be shocked by this, I have gotten used to it over time) and pretty much every guy that crosses my path turns into the "friend" (even if I dont want them to be just friends) I guess the friend filter is always out for me. What about those of us who dont know how to turn it off!? C'mon match.com, I need answers here!
2. Your date looks great on paper, but thats it - solution: base it on how you are feeling
Okay I am having a hard time relating to this particular one because most guys that are great on resume either 1. pay no attention this way whatsoever 2. is already dating one of my friends 3. has followed number one and went straight into the friend factor. So how do I feel? I feel like I am getting the raw end of the stick here people, how come the good ones are never interested in this?
3. You dont think this person has long term potential - solution: use the "carpe date-em trick"
Well I guess this only pertains to people who are looking for thier very serious mate. I may be looking to date someone, but am not looking to get married anytime soon. So there is no looking for someone with long term potential - just ANY potential for the matter!
4. You swear all the good ones are taken already - solution: look again, at people you usually pass over.
However this one is TOTALLY true. Maybe all the good ones arent "taken" but they definitely arent sending any interest over here and usually are eyeing some other chick. So what this article is telling me though, is that I should take another look around me? In Colorado Springs? I guess I will take this advice the next time I am at Cowboys or Gasoline Alley, the two best places to pick up men (please note the sarcasm in my tone of voice)I wont be so picky to turn down the toothless hick who is asking me to dance with him, he could me my next soulmate!
5. You feel down about yourself and not date worthy- solution: give youself a pre-date prep
Now this is one that we ALL do with our friends already. You know that your best friend is never going to say "you are right, you suck and dont deserve anyone" when you are sitting there complaining about the lack of relationships in your life. That would just be a bad friend. We are always going to say "you deserve the best, you are a great person and someone will like you for who you are" and MEAN IT. Because obviously we are your friends and love you, and are friends with you for a reason. Personally, I truly mean it when I tell my friends that because I only have amazing friends and want nohting but the best for them and to be happy.
So what did I learn from this article? Nothing. It had no solutions as to why I get in a rut, and truly more often than not. However I did realize that obviously I am not ready for the long-term serious committment that most people are looking for on match.com, and hence why I will not be joining that website or any other dating website anytime soon.
I will just hang on for the next guy to show any sorts of interst in me, and then see how long it takes for me to ruin things and become friends with them :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
What Happens When you Dont Remember?
It's a regular statement made amongst college students and post-college grads who still tend to party hard -
Do you know what happened last night?
Blackout. Blurry. Missing pieces of the night. This tends to happen when large consumptions of alcohol are consumed. Most of us have been there, some way more often than others, where we cant remember what happened the night before. We need the help of our friends to piece everything together or sometimes we use our cell phone to see what text messages were sent or if any phone calls were made - looking for someone to fill us in on the details of the night.
Sometimes this can be scary, especially if you dont know how you got home or where any of your things are (most of the time your things are with your friends or hidden under your clothes on the floor). And it can be somewhat embarrassing when your friends are filling you in on the crazy things that you did the night before - like dancing on the bar, making love to that chili cheese dog that you bought at the hot dog stand on the street, puking in a garbage can in the beer garden only to go back into the bar and buy another drink - all in the name of partying.
But why do we "black out?" Sometimes you cant figure it out - how did I drink so much that I dont remember? The body works in mysterious ways because one can never say they are okay after a certain amount of drinks - it all depends on your mood, your diet for the day (aka did you eat a lot, did you eat nothing) how much water you drank all day, the type of partying you are doing, and the climate/area that you are in (blackouts tend to happen more at higher altitude due to the alcohol moving into the bloodstream faster). In any case - one can never predict when a blackout will occur.
There was a time in college that it seemed like it was inevitable that the nights that I was "going to take it easy" were the nights that I blacked out (and actually still sometimes happens to this day) I remember one incident where I woke up in my bed, tshirt on backwards, laying face up with my hands crossed on my chest like I was laying in a coffin, and uneaten pizza laying right next to me that I had no idea how it was paid for because it never showed up on my checking account and I had no cash on me that night, and my clothes laying on the floor of my bed covered in mud with some mud in my hair and fingernails. And i remember going "What??? I was only supposed to go out for a couple drinks!"
For those interested in knowing what actually happened, apparently the couple of drinks turned into a Cochran barcrawl with people I worked with, it started to downpour during the last leg of it and a couple of us decided to get into a mud fight outside Station, where then I turned and apparently ran accross the street to Papa Johns because I was hungry and somehow talked some guy into buying one for me, he was expecting something more in return but once the pizza was in my hands I bolted and ran home with it and passed out without ever touching it. Thank goodness for friends who whitnessed this whole showing.
Now obviously this is a pretty "tame" situation where one wakes up and doesnt remember anything - but its a good example of how alcohol can have that affect on you. Some of the most common questions I have gotten from friends when they wanted to know what happened last night was:
"How did I get these bruises on my body?"
"Where are my shoes?"
"How did he/she end up in my bed or back at my place?"
"Why do I have (whatever they found) in my pocket/purse?"
"How did I get home last night?"
"I just looked at my camera - I dont remember taking any of these pictures." "
Where did we go last night?"
Usually this is where I start laughing and fill them in on whatver I know happened. I am usually that friend who remembers a good portion of the night to let everyone know what went down (it is very rare for me to blackout and when I do - oh dear!) so I get to be the one to fill them on thier humourous adventures of the night. Sometimes, if I am feeling like having some fun, I make some things up just to get them really nervous.
But blacking out can have some serious consequences if you arent with your friends to help you along the way. Some people black out, and literally dont know how they got home, who they are with, and what they are doing. If this happens and you get separated from your friends, you just have to hope that you are safe. Yes, sometimes the situations can be funny but you have to look at the overall picture of what could happen. Rapes, attacks, muggings can occur if you are vulnerable - so one just has to hope that when this occurs your friends are there.
Going past the safety issues, blacking out is one of the most common causes for a good laugh the next day. "So you dont remember asking that guy If I text you, will you text me back?" "Omg you should have seen the way you were dancing on the dance floor, we couldnt tell if you were trying to do the robot or if you just forgot how to move" "You ate that sandwich like it was going to be your last meal ever. Oh and do you remember stealing those bags of chips as well?" "You stumbled onto the rooftop, just fell into the chair, arms in the air screaming ITS MY BIRTHDAY like everyone in the bar should know. And then you fell down the stairs as security was kicking you out, kept calling the female cab driver sir, forced your credit card into my hands and kept saying drink on me tonight"
Yes, we have all laughed about these scenarios with our friends a time or two. And everyone has been there at some point - if you havent then you just dont party hard enough.
Do you know what happened last night?
Blackout. Blurry. Missing pieces of the night. This tends to happen when large consumptions of alcohol are consumed. Most of us have been there, some way more often than others, where we cant remember what happened the night before. We need the help of our friends to piece everything together or sometimes we use our cell phone to see what text messages were sent or if any phone calls were made - looking for someone to fill us in on the details of the night.
Sometimes this can be scary, especially if you dont know how you got home or where any of your things are (most of the time your things are with your friends or hidden under your clothes on the floor). And it can be somewhat embarrassing when your friends are filling you in on the crazy things that you did the night before - like dancing on the bar, making love to that chili cheese dog that you bought at the hot dog stand on the street, puking in a garbage can in the beer garden only to go back into the bar and buy another drink - all in the name of partying.
But why do we "black out?" Sometimes you cant figure it out - how did I drink so much that I dont remember? The body works in mysterious ways because one can never say they are okay after a certain amount of drinks - it all depends on your mood, your diet for the day (aka did you eat a lot, did you eat nothing) how much water you drank all day, the type of partying you are doing, and the climate/area that you are in (blackouts tend to happen more at higher altitude due to the alcohol moving into the bloodstream faster). In any case - one can never predict when a blackout will occur.
There was a time in college that it seemed like it was inevitable that the nights that I was "going to take it easy" were the nights that I blacked out (and actually still sometimes happens to this day) I remember one incident where I woke up in my bed, tshirt on backwards, laying face up with my hands crossed on my chest like I was laying in a coffin, and uneaten pizza laying right next to me that I had no idea how it was paid for because it never showed up on my checking account and I had no cash on me that night, and my clothes laying on the floor of my bed covered in mud with some mud in my hair and fingernails. And i remember going "What??? I was only supposed to go out for a couple drinks!"
For those interested in knowing what actually happened, apparently the couple of drinks turned into a Cochran barcrawl with people I worked with, it started to downpour during the last leg of it and a couple of us decided to get into a mud fight outside Station, where then I turned and apparently ran accross the street to Papa Johns because I was hungry and somehow talked some guy into buying one for me, he was expecting something more in return but once the pizza was in my hands I bolted and ran home with it and passed out without ever touching it. Thank goodness for friends who whitnessed this whole showing.
Now obviously this is a pretty "tame" situation where one wakes up and doesnt remember anything - but its a good example of how alcohol can have that affect on you. Some of the most common questions I have gotten from friends when they wanted to know what happened last night was:
"How did I get these bruises on my body?"
"Where are my shoes?"
"How did he/she end up in my bed or back at my place?"
"Why do I have (whatever they found) in my pocket/purse?"
"How did I get home last night?"
"I just looked at my camera - I dont remember taking any of these pictures." "
Where did we go last night?"
Usually this is where I start laughing and fill them in on whatver I know happened. I am usually that friend who remembers a good portion of the night to let everyone know what went down (it is very rare for me to blackout and when I do - oh dear!) so I get to be the one to fill them on thier humourous adventures of the night. Sometimes, if I am feeling like having some fun, I make some things up just to get them really nervous.
But blacking out can have some serious consequences if you arent with your friends to help you along the way. Some people black out, and literally dont know how they got home, who they are with, and what they are doing. If this happens and you get separated from your friends, you just have to hope that you are safe. Yes, sometimes the situations can be funny but you have to look at the overall picture of what could happen. Rapes, attacks, muggings can occur if you are vulnerable - so one just has to hope that when this occurs your friends are there.
Going past the safety issues, blacking out is one of the most common causes for a good laugh the next day. "So you dont remember asking that guy If I text you, will you text me back?" "Omg you should have seen the way you were dancing on the dance floor, we couldnt tell if you were trying to do the robot or if you just forgot how to move" "You ate that sandwich like it was going to be your last meal ever. Oh and do you remember stealing those bags of chips as well?" "You stumbled onto the rooftop, just fell into the chair, arms in the air screaming ITS MY BIRTHDAY like everyone in the bar should know. And then you fell down the stairs as security was kicking you out, kept calling the female cab driver sir, forced your credit card into my hands and kept saying drink on me tonight"
Yes, we have all laughed about these scenarios with our friends a time or two. And everyone has been there at some point - if you havent then you just dont party hard enough.
Friday, February 18, 2011
It's All in the Personality
I admit it - I am not shy. I am loud, I have no filter on my mouth, and love to laugh. I can have a conversation with about anyone - hell, I could even have a kick ass conversation with a rock. It's what most people call an "infectious personality" that allows me to get along with just about anyone that crosses my path.
But sometimes its all in the other person's personality as to how a conversation with me will go. I tend to feed off the people I am with, and if you are dull well it just makes it that much harder for me to have a good conversation with you.. But give me someone who will give it right back to me and I am lit up!
I tend to notice this in my line of work as well. Being a videographer, I am ALWAYS working with people whether I am filming them, interviewing them, or working with someone on a video that they want. When I am interviewing someone, the whole process will go great if we have something to go back and forth with. I took notice of this the last couple days as I was interviewing and spending some time with some amazing athletes. The ones that I got along the best with were the ones that I could relate to, had some inside jokes with already, or we found a common interest to talk about. And it makes the process so much more fun!
And it totally makes a huge difference in the workplace. Being able to relate with the people you work with and having a relationship with them is great because then it makes the day go faster and more enjoyable. No one truly enjoys sitting in a cube for 8 hours a day starting at a computer screen - after a while it gets old. But the people around you make it so much better.Do you think it is noticeable when they put you in the cube that is right off the elevators, as if it is the "Hello, Welcome to..." cube since everyone seems to walk by it everyday? I am perfect for that cube, whether they knew that putting me there or not.
Personality is key to holding relationships with people as well. If I have a hard time talking to you, we will not be friends. End of story. That may sound harsh, but if I cant talk to you about things how can we hang out and actually do things together?? This has a HUGE impact on the dating scene as well. Last year I went out to dinner with thos cowboy who seemed like a decent enough guy, we hit it off via text message (again, thanks to our generation there are no voice conversations to he had for me to see this warning sign.) I was excited to be going on a date for it seemed like no one went to dinner anymore to meet someone.
However, disappointment central. We meet up for dinner and NOTHING comes out of his mouth. At first I am thinking maybe I intimidate him, because in awkward/uncomfortable situations I CANT stop talking - I think it is a problem. So I start thinking maybe its because I am hogging the conversation. So I actually stop talking. You can literally hear the crickets from outside the restaurant as nothing comes out of his mouth. I start asking him questions to get him to talk, and I could just cringe from the lack of information he gives me. As the dinner finishes, and I am literally on my 3rd glass of wine to make myself feel less uncomfortable, he goes to pay the check and this conversation arises:
"So, dinner was good. Thanks for joining me"
"Oh you are quite welcome, thanks for inviting me"
" I am sorry I didnt talk much, if you couldnt tell I am hard on conversation"
"No worries, its totally cool"
"Yea, I tend to have a problem where I dont know how to keep up a conversation"
"Yea, well its cool because I totally compensate for that if you couldnt already tell"
We just kind of look at each other, I shake his hand and say thanks again, get up and just walk out of the restsaurant never to hear from him again. And its okay. I wasnt going to push anything that wasnt there obviously, and for me the thing that has to be there is personality. Keep up with me and you are golden.
I think thats why I have some of the greatest friends though. They get me and my personality but MATCH it. If I am goofy, they are being goofy with me. If I am dancing on the dance floor, they are either right with me or sitting at the bar laughing at my ass. And if there is a lull in a conversation, it is not because it is an awkward silence but because we are sitting and thinking about how awesome our conversation has been going so far and are just taking a breather from talking. I am most comfortable around those that get me - and for those of you who have seen me at my best, then know you are one of my closest friends.
Personality. It can make or break a relationship, whether it is a work related one, one that is trying to get started off the ground, or a friendship you are trying to keep together. But in the end, it's about your take on the world. I love life, and cant be happier to be alive everyday. My "infectious" personality comes from who I am as a person, as well as how I percieve any situation allowing me to always have fun.
And if the party sucks - well watch out, because I might just become the party!
But sometimes its all in the other person's personality as to how a conversation with me will go. I tend to feed off the people I am with, and if you are dull well it just makes it that much harder for me to have a good conversation with you.. But give me someone who will give it right back to me and I am lit up!
I tend to notice this in my line of work as well. Being a videographer, I am ALWAYS working with people whether I am filming them, interviewing them, or working with someone on a video that they want. When I am interviewing someone, the whole process will go great if we have something to go back and forth with. I took notice of this the last couple days as I was interviewing and spending some time with some amazing athletes. The ones that I got along the best with were the ones that I could relate to, had some inside jokes with already, or we found a common interest to talk about. And it makes the process so much more fun!
And it totally makes a huge difference in the workplace. Being able to relate with the people you work with and having a relationship with them is great because then it makes the day go faster and more enjoyable. No one truly enjoys sitting in a cube for 8 hours a day starting at a computer screen - after a while it gets old. But the people around you make it so much better.Do you think it is noticeable when they put you in the cube that is right off the elevators, as if it is the "Hello, Welcome to..." cube since everyone seems to walk by it everyday? I am perfect for that cube, whether they knew that putting me there or not.
Personality is key to holding relationships with people as well. If I have a hard time talking to you, we will not be friends. End of story. That may sound harsh, but if I cant talk to you about things how can we hang out and actually do things together?? This has a HUGE impact on the dating scene as well. Last year I went out to dinner with thos cowboy who seemed like a decent enough guy, we hit it off via text message (again, thanks to our generation there are no voice conversations to he had for me to see this warning sign.) I was excited to be going on a date for it seemed like no one went to dinner anymore to meet someone.
However, disappointment central. We meet up for dinner and NOTHING comes out of his mouth. At first I am thinking maybe I intimidate him, because in awkward/uncomfortable situations I CANT stop talking - I think it is a problem. So I start thinking maybe its because I am hogging the conversation. So I actually stop talking. You can literally hear the crickets from outside the restaurant as nothing comes out of his mouth. I start asking him questions to get him to talk, and I could just cringe from the lack of information he gives me. As the dinner finishes, and I am literally on my 3rd glass of wine to make myself feel less uncomfortable, he goes to pay the check and this conversation arises:
"So, dinner was good. Thanks for joining me"
"Oh you are quite welcome, thanks for inviting me"
" I am sorry I didnt talk much, if you couldnt tell I am hard on conversation"
"No worries, its totally cool"
"Yea, I tend to have a problem where I dont know how to keep up a conversation"
"Yea, well its cool because I totally compensate for that if you couldnt already tell"
We just kind of look at each other, I shake his hand and say thanks again, get up and just walk out of the restsaurant never to hear from him again. And its okay. I wasnt going to push anything that wasnt there obviously, and for me the thing that has to be there is personality. Keep up with me and you are golden.
I think thats why I have some of the greatest friends though. They get me and my personality but MATCH it. If I am goofy, they are being goofy with me. If I am dancing on the dance floor, they are either right with me or sitting at the bar laughing at my ass. And if there is a lull in a conversation, it is not because it is an awkward silence but because we are sitting and thinking about how awesome our conversation has been going so far and are just taking a breather from talking. I am most comfortable around those that get me - and for those of you who have seen me at my best, then know you are one of my closest friends.
Personality. It can make or break a relationship, whether it is a work related one, one that is trying to get started off the ground, or a friendship you are trying to keep together. But in the end, it's about your take on the world. I love life, and cant be happier to be alive everyday. My "infectious" personality comes from who I am as a person, as well as how I percieve any situation allowing me to always have fun.
And if the party sucks - well watch out, because I might just become the party!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Running - Is it Worth it?
I have always asked myself the question - why do people enjoy running? I am constantly hearing people talk about the 5ks, half marathons, and marathons that they push thier bodies to complete and then talk about the complete exhaustion but utter pride they have in themselves for doing such a horendous task.
Here, I can list three reasons why I dont usually enjoy running:
1. I have a bum knee. Yes this usually is an "excuse" but due to lack of ACL that went missing from a mishap in 2005, the doctor even told me running would not help the knee heal. BAM the doctor told me not to run.
2. I dont enjoy side cramps. Period.
3. Shin splints, sore ankles, hard breathing... sounds miserable.
My hatred for running goes back to my high school days, when in gym class we were required to run a mile under 10 minutes and trained for it every week. My freshman year I was on the volleyball team and worked out consistently so it wasnt that I was out of shape - I just hated to run. Later that year I got talked into joining the track team as a sprint runner - which lasted a week due to painful knee splints and exhaustion that just about killed me.
After that, you couldnt PAY me to run. The only time I ran was when I was running away from someone or chasing someone down. And even then, it would end with me on the ground huffing and puffing until it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. Why, WHY would someone want to run so fast that thier lungs felt like they wanted to explode?
I thought this way until someone told me it wasnt about running fast, it was just about the run. So I tried it in college only to fail due to lack of support from my knee. After 2 days of icing to bring the swelling down, I pretty much wrote off running for good. I was content enough to go to the gym and ride the bike, go on the elliptical, maybe even do the stair stepper - things that didnt require too much pressure on my poor left knee.
But now that I am out of college, I am living in Colorado, a state where EVERYONE seems to run. I mean, even bars down here host weekly 5ks to get people moving. For fun people run up the incline (which is 1000 stairs going stright up the mountain) and then run down barr trail, timing themselves to see how fast they can go. Really? I can barely walk up the incline without being miserable!
However, since 2011 is a new year for me and I am trying to do things as a Coloradoan- I mean, I even went snowboarding for the first time this year! - I have decided that I want try running again. With the support of some friends, and the fact that my knee hasnt felt this good since before my injury, I decided to give running a shot last night. I geared up and mentally prepared myself to run half of it and walk the rest, thinking that my legs would go into shock since I havent attempted anything like this since the Summer.
Low and behold - I did it. I, Megan, ran the ENTIRE 3.1 MILES of the Jack Quinn's 5k. I think about half ran/half danced into the finish line (probably could have been also that I had to use the bathroom sooo bad which made the last leg of the run miserable) but I accomplished it. I never stopped - I just ran at a slower pace. And finished it in 40 minutes. I couldnt erase the slap happy grin on my face last night, now fully understanding what my sister tried to explaining to me before about the "runners high" Hell, it was so good I have even contemplated running it again as soon as possible!
Does this mean I am a new found Colorado runner? I dont know. Only time will tell. Right now my legs are still feeling it so running is out of the question this week. But I feel like it could be something I can eventually get more into - however I would have to do it in style. There is some really cute running gear on the market!
Here, I can list three reasons why I dont usually enjoy running:
1. I have a bum knee. Yes this usually is an "excuse" but due to lack of ACL that went missing from a mishap in 2005, the doctor even told me running would not help the knee heal. BAM the doctor told me not to run.
2. I dont enjoy side cramps. Period.
3. Shin splints, sore ankles, hard breathing... sounds miserable.
My hatred for running goes back to my high school days, when in gym class we were required to run a mile under 10 minutes and trained for it every week. My freshman year I was on the volleyball team and worked out consistently so it wasnt that I was out of shape - I just hated to run. Later that year I got talked into joining the track team as a sprint runner - which lasted a week due to painful knee splints and exhaustion that just about killed me.
After that, you couldnt PAY me to run. The only time I ran was when I was running away from someone or chasing someone down. And even then, it would end with me on the ground huffing and puffing until it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. Why, WHY would someone want to run so fast that thier lungs felt like they wanted to explode?
I thought this way until someone told me it wasnt about running fast, it was just about the run. So I tried it in college only to fail due to lack of support from my knee. After 2 days of icing to bring the swelling down, I pretty much wrote off running for good. I was content enough to go to the gym and ride the bike, go on the elliptical, maybe even do the stair stepper - things that didnt require too much pressure on my poor left knee.
But now that I am out of college, I am living in Colorado, a state where EVERYONE seems to run. I mean, even bars down here host weekly 5ks to get people moving. For fun people run up the incline (which is 1000 stairs going stright up the mountain) and then run down barr trail, timing themselves to see how fast they can go. Really? I can barely walk up the incline without being miserable!
However, since 2011 is a new year for me and I am trying to do things as a Coloradoan- I mean, I even went snowboarding for the first time this year! - I have decided that I want try running again. With the support of some friends, and the fact that my knee hasnt felt this good since before my injury, I decided to give running a shot last night. I geared up and mentally prepared myself to run half of it and walk the rest, thinking that my legs would go into shock since I havent attempted anything like this since the Summer.
Low and behold - I did it. I, Megan, ran the ENTIRE 3.1 MILES of the Jack Quinn's 5k. I think about half ran/half danced into the finish line (probably could have been also that I had to use the bathroom sooo bad which made the last leg of the run miserable) but I accomplished it. I never stopped - I just ran at a slower pace. And finished it in 40 minutes. I couldnt erase the slap happy grin on my face last night, now fully understanding what my sister tried to explaining to me before about the "runners high" Hell, it was so good I have even contemplated running it again as soon as possible!
Does this mean I am a new found Colorado runner? I dont know. Only time will tell. Right now my legs are still feeling it so running is out of the question this week. But I feel like it could be something I can eventually get more into - however I would have to do it in style. There is some really cute running gear on the market!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Can drunken encounters lead to serious relationships?
As most people know, dating has taken on a whole new toll these days. Men just dont go up to women anymore and introduce themselves, then ask if they can take them to dinner to get to know them better. Many interactions happen late at night, in dark very loud surroundings where one can barely hear their own thoughts let alone the conversation that is going between them and another person. I thought about this as I took in the situation that sat before me last night.
While at the Avalanche game with the girls, sitting casually drinking my Dr Pepper (and no, it had no alcoholic additives in it thank you very much) I take notice of the two girls that walk in and sit down right in front of us. One is obviously dressed for the occasion, having done her hair and make up and wearing a pretty cute outfit, while the other one is wearing jogging gear and looks decent but obviously not dressing to impress. I sat and started pondering the reason they were here, until in enters two men whom sit down next to them. One, kinda cute wearting a black hat but the other looks like he just came out of the woods hunting deer. Total hick.
Upon further observation, I begin to realize that these two separate duos were meeting up. However, did not come together. So now I am curious/nosy as to what brings these very different people together. Until I overhear this part of thier conversation:
Guy in Black hat - "So, did you two ladies wake up for work okay this morning"
Jogging Chick - "Omg I had an extremely rough day at work today. I almost couldnt get out of bed"
Guy in Black hat - "Yea, things got out of control last night. Didnt mean to do that many shots"
Jogging Chick - "Ugh same here, she (pointing to friend) had a hard time too"
Dolled up chick nods
Guy in Black hat - "Hey this is my buddy by the way (introductions occur)"
Dolled up chick giggles, plays with her hair awkwardly.
Awkward silence as all four of them start texting other people on thier phones.
At this rate, I have now realized that they met for the first time last night, where drunk-induced sparks flew between dolled up chick and Guy in Black hat. They wanted to meet up again, Black hat guy had tickets to the Avalanche game and wanted to invite the chick, told her to bring her friend he will bring one of his friends. However, they not only come separately to the game (which means Black hat guy left the tickets for the girls at Will Call. Again, got this from overhearing thier conversation), the dolled up girl now doesnt know what to do and just keeps playing with her obviously curled/done up hair, the hick friend and the jogging girl are making no connection, and Black hat guy is trying to make things less awkward by only conversing with jogging girl - but in reality hes talking OVER the dolled up girl and it just makes things more awkward as the hick friend is being left out of the conversation.
Confusing right? It gave me a slight headache was I was taking it all in - however I was enjoying it immensley. Especially since it was the only entertainment of the night being that the Avalanche were getting the butt whooping of the year losing 7-1 at this point (they went on to lose 9-1. awful!).
And that got me thinking. How do things like that work? Is it always going to be awkward when you meet up with someone you had met out one night? I thought about all the instances that my friends and I have had over the years, where we met someone at a party or at a bar and things hit off great. Good conversation, maybe some good dancing (sometimes karaoke), an exhange of numbers and maybe a good night kiss before leaving the bar with your friends to get some 2am Jimmy Johns and BBQ chips that your drunken stomach is craving.
The next day, the texting starts - whether you send the first one saying hey great meeting you last night, or he does asking how you are feeling that next morning - and you talk via message all day (for all you who may be shocked to hear this, these days people dont CALL each other anymore. There is no voice interaction, it is done all via text so that you can really think about what you are going to say to the person) This goes on for maybe a few days until that question comes up - when am I going to see you again? So now the planning occurs, but here is where things get tricky. Do you meet up for dinner and drinks? But do you do this alone, or go on a double date eaach bringing a friend for support (or to give you sober judgement on the person "YAY/NAY") Do you say hey, I will be pregaming with my friends meet up with me later in the night (so that you have some liquid courage in you before you meet up) and just do the whole bar scene again? Or do you go over to thier place/have them come over to watch a movie and just chill and talk? (this is the tricky one because you obviously want to play safe in case they happen to be a crazed murderer - so for all of you thinking of doing this just meet up for coffee or something in a public place first! Okay, that was my safety shpeal for this blog)
The best thing to do in this situation, that these duos obviously did last night, was to meet up in a social setting and bring a friend with you for support. Okay, so that gets set up. But now what if you dont remember what they look like? What if they dont remember what you look like? Sometimes in a dark, loud, haze of the night one's beer goggles could make someone look totally different the next day. So what if you are obviously disappointed when you meet up with them again? Do you take advantage of the guy and use him for free food/drinks for the rest of the night but then ignore is texts from there-on out? Do you stick it out, thinking maybe there could be something there that you are missing (goes back to my blog yesterday about the forcing of chemistry) Or, do you say hey I have to use the restroom I will be right back and then just bail, leaving them high and dry?
And you wonder why dating doesnt exist anymore. People like us overthink things way too much. And sometimes ruin things before they can even get started! Well, we left early in the 3rd period, so we have no idea how the night ended for these two duos. But in any case, one can maybe hope that they will all meet up again in the future and things will work out for the Black hat guy and the Dolled up girl. Or, in the sad but most common circumstance, the girls were not impressed with the friend selecion and decide its not worth going any farther and ignore further texts/meetings from here on out. At any rate, if you are single you are bound to have this happen to you at one point or another. And I give major props to anyone who gets into a relationship this way, because in all honesty it doesnt really work most of the time.
Maybe I will meet a guy at the grocery store one day, or the library. I hear there are good looking men to be picked up at these places....
While at the Avalanche game with the girls, sitting casually drinking my Dr Pepper (and no, it had no alcoholic additives in it thank you very much) I take notice of the two girls that walk in and sit down right in front of us. One is obviously dressed for the occasion, having done her hair and make up and wearing a pretty cute outfit, while the other one is wearing jogging gear and looks decent but obviously not dressing to impress. I sat and started pondering the reason they were here, until in enters two men whom sit down next to them. One, kinda cute wearting a black hat but the other looks like he just came out of the woods hunting deer. Total hick.
Upon further observation, I begin to realize that these two separate duos were meeting up. However, did not come together. So now I am curious/nosy as to what brings these very different people together. Until I overhear this part of thier conversation:
Guy in Black hat - "So, did you two ladies wake up for work okay this morning"
Jogging Chick - "Omg I had an extremely rough day at work today. I almost couldnt get out of bed"
Guy in Black hat - "Yea, things got out of control last night. Didnt mean to do that many shots"
Jogging Chick - "Ugh same here, she (pointing to friend) had a hard time too"
Dolled up chick nods
Guy in Black hat - "Hey this is my buddy by the way (introductions occur)"
Dolled up chick giggles, plays with her hair awkwardly.
Awkward silence as all four of them start texting other people on thier phones.
At this rate, I have now realized that they met for the first time last night, where drunk-induced sparks flew between dolled up chick and Guy in Black hat. They wanted to meet up again, Black hat guy had tickets to the Avalanche game and wanted to invite the chick, told her to bring her friend he will bring one of his friends. However, they not only come separately to the game (which means Black hat guy left the tickets for the girls at Will Call. Again, got this from overhearing thier conversation), the dolled up girl now doesnt know what to do and just keeps playing with her obviously curled/done up hair, the hick friend and the jogging girl are making no connection, and Black hat guy is trying to make things less awkward by only conversing with jogging girl - but in reality hes talking OVER the dolled up girl and it just makes things more awkward as the hick friend is being left out of the conversation.
Confusing right? It gave me a slight headache was I was taking it all in - however I was enjoying it immensley. Especially since it was the only entertainment of the night being that the Avalanche were getting the butt whooping of the year losing 7-1 at this point (they went on to lose 9-1. awful!).
And that got me thinking. How do things like that work? Is it always going to be awkward when you meet up with someone you had met out one night? I thought about all the instances that my friends and I have had over the years, where we met someone at a party or at a bar and things hit off great. Good conversation, maybe some good dancing (sometimes karaoke), an exhange of numbers and maybe a good night kiss before leaving the bar with your friends to get some 2am Jimmy Johns and BBQ chips that your drunken stomach is craving.
The next day, the texting starts - whether you send the first one saying hey great meeting you last night, or he does asking how you are feeling that next morning - and you talk via message all day (for all you who may be shocked to hear this, these days people dont CALL each other anymore. There is no voice interaction, it is done all via text so that you can really think about what you are going to say to the person) This goes on for maybe a few days until that question comes up - when am I going to see you again? So now the planning occurs, but here is where things get tricky. Do you meet up for dinner and drinks? But do you do this alone, or go on a double date eaach bringing a friend for support (or to give you sober judgement on the person "YAY/NAY") Do you say hey, I will be pregaming with my friends meet up with me later in the night (so that you have some liquid courage in you before you meet up) and just do the whole bar scene again? Or do you go over to thier place/have them come over to watch a movie and just chill and talk? (this is the tricky one because you obviously want to play safe in case they happen to be a crazed murderer - so for all of you thinking of doing this just meet up for coffee or something in a public place first! Okay, that was my safety shpeal for this blog)
The best thing to do in this situation, that these duos obviously did last night, was to meet up in a social setting and bring a friend with you for support. Okay, so that gets set up. But now what if you dont remember what they look like? What if they dont remember what you look like? Sometimes in a dark, loud, haze of the night one's beer goggles could make someone look totally different the next day. So what if you are obviously disappointed when you meet up with them again? Do you take advantage of the guy and use him for free food/drinks for the rest of the night but then ignore is texts from there-on out? Do you stick it out, thinking maybe there could be something there that you are missing (goes back to my blog yesterday about the forcing of chemistry) Or, do you say hey I have to use the restroom I will be right back and then just bail, leaving them high and dry?
And you wonder why dating doesnt exist anymore. People like us overthink things way too much. And sometimes ruin things before they can even get started! Well, we left early in the 3rd period, so we have no idea how the night ended for these two duos. But in any case, one can maybe hope that they will all meet up again in the future and things will work out for the Black hat guy and the Dolled up girl. Or, in the sad but most common circumstance, the girls were not impressed with the friend selecion and decide its not worth going any farther and ignore further texts/meetings from here on out. At any rate, if you are single you are bound to have this happen to you at one point or another. And I give major props to anyone who gets into a relationship this way, because in all honesty it doesnt really work most of the time.
Maybe I will meet a guy at the grocery store one day, or the library. I hear there are good looking men to be picked up at these places....
Monday, February 14, 2011
First Post as a Blogger
Well here it is everyone... the oh so coveted blog that I keep being told to write. In this blog there will be no hold backs.... I will talk about it all! Relationships, money, work, love - LIFE. I hope this is something everyone can enjoy and also be able to know more about what goes on in my mind most of the time :)
For my first blog topic, since it happens to be Valentines Day - and I am thus single - I want to talk about chemistry. And not the "Oh, we have chemistry together we work well together" kind of chemistry but the initial feelings one can have for someone. This stems from an instance this past weekend that my roomate and I were talking about on the way to work this morning. How can one feel "chemistry" the first time you are with someone but the second time feel nothing? And in both cases of being with that person, nothing was different how things went about?
This is a personal question that I have been stumped about since the days of high school, when the days of boys went from "eww he has cooties" to "hmm I wonder how he kisses." You have an initial crush on someone, go and make the move, things are going good... until about 3 or 4 "dates" (however you want to call your time with your boy/girl) in, and you realize maybe there isnt much there. This could be because you realize he/she is a jerk, maybe he/she is awkward and you have a hard time talking with them, or you find out they have a wierd fetish that you cant get over... either way the chemistry dies out.
But what about when you DONT know why there is no chemistry? That the reason why you went for that person in the first place happens to be the reason you want to be with them but there just is no passion, no romance, no feelings whatsoever. And you TRY it out, just to try it. And then boom its boring, awkward, and just plain ol' sucks. What do you do? Keep trying? Or just give it up and say "Hey, I think we are better off as friends." Or maybe, just maybe, you realize there never was anything there and you were forcing it upon yourself in hopes of having that something, that wow in your life.
As my roomate and I pondered this thought on our early morning drive this morning, I realized that this happens a lot in life. A lot more than you think. When relationships fizzle out, it's because the chemistry just isnt there anymore. When you realize you are interested in someone else besides the person you are with, it just isnt there anymore. When you would rather be somewhere else... yes I believe you all get the picture now. Is this a normal part of life? How is it some people are with the same person 2, 5, 10, 15+ years and others cant keep someone around longer than 4 months? When all they want is somone to be around a tad longer than that? Well, because, in all honesty, its a New Year, Valentines Day is upon us, and sometimes being single just isnt as much fun as you think it is...
Who am I kidding. I LOVE being single right now. It makes the weekends more fun when you play the game "How many phone numbers can I get this weekend" So, who cares if there is no chemistry in life right now! For all you single ladies out there, wave you hands in the air today because, maybe not today, but someday you will find that person to have that "Chemistry" with. Until then, I plan on going to watch men on skates hit each other over a small little black puck with three awesomely amazing single ladies. And we will have more fun than an an awkard/chemistry-less hookup.
For my first blog topic, since it happens to be Valentines Day - and I am thus single - I want to talk about chemistry. And not the "Oh, we have chemistry together we work well together" kind of chemistry but the initial feelings one can have for someone. This stems from an instance this past weekend that my roomate and I were talking about on the way to work this morning. How can one feel "chemistry" the first time you are with someone but the second time feel nothing? And in both cases of being with that person, nothing was different how things went about?
This is a personal question that I have been stumped about since the days of high school, when the days of boys went from "eww he has cooties" to "hmm I wonder how he kisses." You have an initial crush on someone, go and make the move, things are going good... until about 3 or 4 "dates" (however you want to call your time with your boy/girl) in, and you realize maybe there isnt much there. This could be because you realize he/she is a jerk, maybe he/she is awkward and you have a hard time talking with them, or you find out they have a wierd fetish that you cant get over... either way the chemistry dies out.
But what about when you DONT know why there is no chemistry? That the reason why you went for that person in the first place happens to be the reason you want to be with them but there just is no passion, no romance, no feelings whatsoever. And you TRY it out, just to try it. And then boom its boring, awkward, and just plain ol' sucks. What do you do? Keep trying? Or just give it up and say "Hey, I think we are better off as friends." Or maybe, just maybe, you realize there never was anything there and you were forcing it upon yourself in hopes of having that something, that wow in your life.
As my roomate and I pondered this thought on our early morning drive this morning, I realized that this happens a lot in life. A lot more than you think. When relationships fizzle out, it's because the chemistry just isnt there anymore. When you realize you are interested in someone else besides the person you are with, it just isnt there anymore. When you would rather be somewhere else... yes I believe you all get the picture now. Is this a normal part of life? How is it some people are with the same person 2, 5, 10, 15+ years and others cant keep someone around longer than 4 months? When all they want is somone to be around a tad longer than that? Well, because, in all honesty, its a New Year, Valentines Day is upon us, and sometimes being single just isnt as much fun as you think it is...
Who am I kidding. I LOVE being single right now. It makes the weekends more fun when you play the game "How many phone numbers can I get this weekend" So, who cares if there is no chemistry in life right now! For all you single ladies out there, wave you hands in the air today because, maybe not today, but someday you will find that person to have that "Chemistry" with. Until then, I plan on going to watch men on skates hit each other over a small little black puck with three awesomely amazing single ladies. And we will have more fun than an an awkard/chemistry-less hookup.
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